The following is an article found in a magazine that is wildly popular throughout the galaxy, though not so much on Earth... I went to great pains to translate this article, hope you enjoy reading it...

A planet situated at the very edge of the spiral arm of the Milky Way, was once dominated by a bipedal species which thought of itself as having originated through divine means. The chimps and gorillas who knew better always had a good laugh when they saw these creatures.

However, the situation rapidly deteriorated into something that the other wiser organisms couldn't laugh about any more. Humans continued to be their smug selves with major superiority complexes. At one point, some of them realized that they were literally raping their mother, Earth. When they spoke about it in public, others hushed them; incest wasn't something that their society allowed them to talk about openly, especially when everyone was doing it.

Oedipus complex aside, many of them thought that they had the right to do as they pleased, because after all, they had been made in the image of God!

When their world leaders gathered together to discuss matters such as dangerous weapons being amassed and the pollution of valuable resources which could effectively make the planet unsuitable for habitation, they ended up arguing about who was responsible for the state of affairs, and who ought to clean it up.

Apart from their utter disregard for the life forms that co-habited their incredibly bio-diverse planet, they also displayed extreme nausea towards others of their own species who chose to think differently. What the majority ordained would become the norm, so much so that in some cultures, it was acceptable to terminate the life of infants if the gender of the infant was female (for further details, see pg 1,380,567 of the detailed analysis of the human race). Further, their irrational imaginary skills made many believe that theirs was the "chosen" race, much like the Brazorgans of the 311AG68 sector who were captured and quarantined by the Galaxy Pre-emptive Strike Organisation. Individuals subscribing to a certain religious ideology would preach "universal love", "forgiveness" and "brotherhood" amongst themselves, but would display extreme intolerance when in the presence of other individuals of a different religion.

Many wars were waged throughout the world due to the irrational ideology preached by innumerable pontiffs that their ideology was the only Truth, and all others must be silenced by any means!

The first instance of contact between us and them was on 1EE-560-6700 when a remote outpost of the Galactic Navy was seized by a "scientific expedition" of the Earthlings. This scientific expedition consisted of more military personnel than researchers. The outpost at first did not retaliate and attempted to make contact with the Earthlings. Soon, 20,000 years later, talks broke down, and no diplomatic solution was within sight. The Earthlings refused to give up their unsustainable methods, and had ruined a few thousand planets making them impossible to inhabit for the next 3 millennia.

Which is why the Galactic Administration has decided to assign the Earthlings to the same fate as the Brazorgans. This article has been published at the specific request of the Galactic Administration which needs your endorsement to carry forward the "Earthlings Reassignment Act". Kindly exercise your franchise on 21EE-309-1099 at a polling booth in your respective home sectors and help rid the galaxy of the menacing influence of the Earthlings.


This might have floated in through a wormhole as it appears to have been written many millennia in the future. Well, at least this means that there is hope for our species yet. We now know that we shall at least survive a couple of million years.

Arranged Marriages

I am going to state at the very outset that I am against the very concept of arranged marriages as it is practised in India. So, yes, this little essay is going to be heavily biased, but what the heck, this is my blog after all and I should be allowed to say what I truly feel. The only problem is that my folks back at home are eventually going to read this, and let me tell you, you cannot find a more orthodox and conservative tamil brahmin family anywhere else.

Firstly, I do not get the whole idea of the caste system. Shockingly, our IT boom did not help us lose our pretentious divisions, it led to the creation of matrimonial websites which shamelessly and openly flaunt the adverts placed by many desperate people out there.

It disgusts me when I see one of these typical adverts which usually run like this: "Software engineer, IIT grad, working with MNC, looking for tall, fair, housewife of such and such caste and such and such gotra"

Many proponents of the arranged marriages cite the extremely low divorce rate in India, which is at present 1.1% and compare this with the much higher divorce rate in USA, which is 48%. Simply put, this argument is bull-crap! The divorce rate is not high in India because our society still frowns upon those who choose to leave an unhappy marriage. Partners in a malfunctioning marriage are usually expected to grit their teeth and hang in there no matter what.

It doesn't matter if their mental health keeps taking a beating every single day that they spend with each other forcibly, it doesn't matter that their psyche takes a beating when they are forced to sleep on separate beds because they cannot stand the sight of each other, it doesn't matter if their children face abuse and mental trauma from all the bitching and fighting everyday, because what really matters is family reputation and honour isn't it?

Women in the USA are not like the women in India who have been and are being oppressed. A woman here is usually perceived as nothing more than a house-maker and as a baby producing machine. As my biology teacher put it, the reason behind India's failure at population control is nothing more than "lack of recreation". Women are even today traded like livestock, the only difference is that people pay the seller for the livestock; in the case of women, the seller pays the husband a huge dowry to take away his daughter! Even educated women quietly consent to marriages wherein they are forced to play second fiddle, where they are forbidden from studying further or from working.

It is the double edged sword of lack of women empowerment and the ferocious, feral need for societal approval that has contributed towards India's low divorce rates.

Now I am not saying that arranged marriages go hand in glove with dowries or with the trend of subjugation of women. I do concede that many open minded people today are not averse to the idea of an empowered woman. Many have awoken and said no to dowries. But the fact remains that arranged marriages still do function on the principle of marrying within your own community.

We are a nation of bigots who make a loud hue and cry when a pretty face receives racist comments on some game show on UK's cable TV, go figure!