Sunday 25 October 2015

A walk down to the beach

I walked clutching my mother's hands
It felt slippery with sweat, she held my little brother over her hip
The sea breeze whispered through the banyan trees
And blew sticky salty air into my face

The hot midday sun made my shirt stick to my back
I had to half walk and half run to keep up with my mother
She had tears in her fiery eyes, furrowed brows and a steely face
The cathedral's spires could be seen, like a child's perspective drawing
against the backdrop of the Bay of Bengal, with the waves powerfully crashing,
crashing into the hot sands, the heat blew a wavy mirage over the scattered shells. My mother half dragged half lifted me as she rushed on towards the sea. The sea was her last refuge, she had snapped, like a dried twig in a blazing flame. The spires grew ever larger, the arch in the middle of the beach grew larger too, but they seemed smaller and smaller as the waves got bigger. There was not a cloud to be seen, yet the breeze grew into a stormy gust, the air did not smell of fish anymore, it was only fear and salt. The fishing boats were landed far up the shore, the storm was coming.

I did not know if I was ready to die. I was only doing as my mother told me to, just following her. The solid spires danced in the heat of the mirage. The salty spray misted them. I wished I could go in for a cool drink of water before my salty grave claimed me. I tried asking my mother, shouting out to her, but she was muttering a string of words, that sounded like the patter of angry rain on a tin roof. I could not understand her words, but they were the words of a woman whose mind was made up, her bruised swollen lips were beautiful with a few drops of deep red showing against the bluish black.

The clouds raced in, like a river in spate breaking open the floodgates. The sun was occluded and a few cool drops whipped about in the whimsy wind. The drops grew larger and the wind blew stronger. The spires disappeared, the arch was a mere silhouette, the trees swayed dangerously, the leafy sussurations replaced with the wooden creaks of timber straining against the sheer force of a cyclone, heralding its arrival like a million tiny drummers. The grains of sand and dust mixed with the cold angry drops were whipped into my face and my arms and dripped off my frock that ballooned behind me as I walked against the wind. My mother paid no heed to my brother's piteous cries, they were drowned by the crash and roar of the waves.

We trudged on through the sandy beach, when the enormity of the waves became the only vision possible, it dominated our horizon, it filled our minds with what the future held. The sheer force of nature on display here was mind numbing. The cold wind that pitted our faces with lashes of water and sand slowed our pace. My mother's muttering ceased completely as her eyes widened with terror at the spectacle that filled the sea. The enormous waves were all that one could see as far as the horizon. A pale voice called out to us, like a misty wraith in the distance. The figure hurried towards us, in a last desperate attempt to make amends. My mother plunged her head into his bosom, weeping uncontrollably, the tremors of her body passed lightly through her hand that still gripped mine tightly.

Thursday 12 February 2015

Defiance with Love

We sang of love when music was dying under the fervent
We whirled to the music when dance was decreed vulgar
We made love in bold friezes when murals were sterilized
We drank from ponds of soma when spirits were evaporating
We upwelled from the burning soil when the boots trampled
We held onto memories of lovers when emotions were crushed
We bled into the barren streets when passion was banished
We flamed with our young bodies when the embers were doused
We lived in defiance when our humanity was denigrated
We stampeded into public squares under the curfewed moonlight

The years age into eras and monarchies grow and die
Nations spring up rifting across peoples of the earth
But nations do not outlive the embers of our love
For our love is fuelled by a thirst for a warm embrace
We burn our selves to feed the flames of passion
We shall live long beyond the stars above our heads
We shall paint the black night with our kisses red
We shall unfurl our dead selves across the infinite void
And kiss and love and sing and dance and laugh without a fear

In Bed Together

These lands were never yours- said the man in white
This soil is ours to give and ours to take
Haven't you heard of eminent domain?

This soil that I love breaths through wet pores
The land that I toil upon is red and fertile
I am the tiller who feeds you, mercy, I implore!

The bodies of our mothers and fathers have enriched these lands
This soil is the nourisher that is for our children to care
Do not blast this mountain, our Lord and the source of nature's bounty

Your voice is feeble and weak, limbs too frail
Do not stand in our way, we are here to civilise you
The land must be taken, else we shall have no development

Fair compense shall be made, the nation values the gritty farmer
You shall find jobs in the factories, you will be developed
Your children shall go to schools and learn the wonders of the world

Crush these halfclothed beggars if they refuse to budge
When it trickles down, they shall kiss my portraits
I live to serve these very multitudes, I feel betrayed, dismayed!

Do not hold back your blows my men said the man in brown
They are savages and brutes of the scrubs and forests
We shall educate them in the subtle art of civilisation

These mountains hold the wealth that I seek said the man in black
We shall denude them into red dust that shall build great cities
The forest shall be stripped for we must have development

Their job done, white and black met under a grey sun
We have thrown the savages into our slums
We have turned the red mountain into lumps of gold

We have oozed black sludge into the blue rivers and seas
We have burnt the forests down to the roots
They smiled in pride as the strange bedfellows lay kissing

The Sarangi's Wail

I was your brother

were we not brothers just yesterday?
did we not sip adrak chai at the break of a chilly dawn?
was it not me who paid your share too for the akhbar?

did you not confess your love for my sister just the other day?
was it so long ago that we sat together for a meal,
with the two of you exchanging covert covetous glances?

we were ten when your mother caressed my hair and kissed my forehead,
her eyes dark pools of compassion just as when she would look at her own
was it not she who taught me to sing khayal upon the rich tapestry of her sarangi?

you seem not yourself in these bloodsoaked clothes and enraged face
wielding bloodied instruments of hatred and incendiary words and deeds
you look at me through a new reckoning of distorted history and newfound anger

you escort me to the ravaged street where the noose of a burning rubber tyre awaits
I am too numb to protest, for the love in your eyes is replaced with a perverse lust
was it not yesterday that the raand you now wish to fuck was your mehbooba?


I was your lover

your coming was always like that of the first monsoon breeze of the season
was it not just last night that we had loved and lay exhausted in embrace?
did you not kiss the pearls of sweat on my breast and sigh everlasting love?

your mother gave me a richly embroidered chador the moment she heard of our love
your father was reluctant at first, only to be moved by your mother's love for me
my brother had been overjoyed, his voice seemed richer than the sarangi that evening

you who dignified my sense of self with a love that did not wish to possess me
you who were to be the father of my children and a companion by my side
how is it that your knuckles rap on my door this ugly night, each knock sounding a death knell?

what did it take for your love to be replaced by this hate and disgust?
because your God-man told you that I am a whoring seductress wishing to conquer you?
does your God fear me so much that he sent you to rape me tonight and burn down my house?


I am a sarangi

I wail tonight until my strings strain against their restraints!
tonight is not a night for music, but that is all I know
my wood resonates until each grain wishes to splinter the cries of maddened men

was it not just yesterday that we had all enjoyed a playful jugalbandi?
My mistress lies shivering in the dark corner, every breath an icy wish for death
did not the familiar voice that she had lovingly trained cry out at an unfamiliar pitch?

are these the same humans who created such music as would bring a piece of wood alive?
are these the same humans who were moved by my stirring melodies and sighed at every pause?
will the same bloodied hands pick up the tampura tomorrow, guttural staccato suddenly lyrical melody?