Chapter-1
The Beginning
Huck Finn had always been a very good friend of mine, sort of a chamcha who looked up to me and my brother as we went about our adventures. He was a first rate fellow, let me tell you that, but the only thing that irked me about him was the manner in which he would carry on about Tom Sawyer, and how we would never be able to live up to his reputation.
If we were to embark on a grand adventure to set off the alarms in all the cars parked on our street, he would tag along and have a super duper time, but would hardly pitch in and help us out. There was no satisfying him! “Tom Sawyer would'a dunn it this'a way” or “Tom Sawyer would nair let a dog scare 'im off, I can tell u that. I Injun swear it tha he woulda got that car alarm to not only shriek but to sing all the sonnets and remix versions of Khaike Paan Benares Waala!”.
Pretty soon, my brother and I would see it fit to rain whoop ass on him, but he would simply smile and take it all saying that “Tom Sawyer woulda made me ache in two score diff'ent places than the two 'o you managed ta”. There was simply no pleasing that guy!
If you were to ask me how Huck Finn came to be with us, I would have to tell you to go ask a witch or one of the priests in the Ganesha temple down the street, for I have as much a clue as one of them astrologers have after carefully looking at a plate of beetle nuts.
It was one hot summer when me and my brother were in Chennai at my grandparents'. We had just finished yet another tome of Twain's and were looking for some adventure, but Paati wouldn't let us go out into the sultry heat. While Arjun and I- Arjun of course is my brother- were cursing our blamed luck and were wondering what Tom Sawyer would have done in this pickle, along came Huck out of nowhere and told us to sneak out like an Injun. Yes, he just came along out of nowhere and told us exactly what Tom Sawyer would have done: “He woulda gone out Injun style and gathered his horsemen and rode of to war against the Yahootee tribe, thas wha he woulda dunn, so wha you two louts still waitin for? Get a goin!”. With Huck Finn's able guidance, we were able to sneak out under my granny's not so watchful eyes, but Huck made it out to be like we were raiding a castle and were sneaking out with the loot, and my snoring granny was the dragon guarding the precious treasure, the peerless Haaji's diamond! He wouldn't let us slink away without nicking my granny's reading glasses from right of her nose, making them out to be the diamonds!
Needless to say, Huck Finn had most of the fun that day, while me and my brother were lumbering under the weight of guilty consciences. He made us borrow my grandfather's scooter and wouldn't let us start it with the key. He forced us to hot wire it like they did in the movies, though that didn't work and we simply ended up switching the headlight's switch with that for the horn, so he made us imagine that we had hot wired it and let us use the keys to start it up. “Tom Sawyer woulda had this horse whinnying away to glory in no time, you two greenhorns are goin to haff ta learn fas, or you will ne'er have half as much adventure as Sid Sawyer!”, so saying he started up the scooter and made me race it around town scaring old men walking along the street and making a huge ruckus with the croaky horn behind the temple elephant waking him from his slumber, which caused his mahout a whole lot of trouble.
That night, when we got home, we were given one hell of a beating. Our parents were on the phone the next minute asking us to return home- which by the way is in Bangalore- and my granny was all teared up and making a fuss over Arjun, but nobody said a word to Huck, he got away with it clean as a whistle! The police inspector who was a friend of thaatha's was at home, he told my paati not to worry him over such trifles in the future and gave us a glare that could have melted the entire Arctic before the methane and carbon do it eventually. We were mighty pissed off after that and refused to talk to Huck, but he just made faces at us, that infernal brat and called us girls' names.
“My Pa woulda bin ashamed of tha lickin, his philosophy in life is to lick a boy till ya can see he is an inch from Death's grubby paws, and here you two are goin on abou tha beatin tha a girl coulda tooked without grimacin!” taunted Huck.
The long and short of it is that Huck stayed with us the rest of our lives to mentor us in the ways of the pirates and highway men. I began this chronicle to make the truth universally known, because not many people know that Huck Finn played a major part in many of the 'adventures' that Arjun and I got into; and in case you are wondering, my name is Advaita, and I'm all grown up now, so I'm no more afraid of getting scolded, so I am going to come out with my whole story on this blog. Keep reading this blog and I'll regularly post our stories. Of course, I also want to thank Adi for lending me space on his blog, and Mark Twain for creating Huck Finn, for without his guidance and mentoring and constant taunts, we would never have had “half as much adventure as Sid Sawyer”!
Tuesday 29 December 2009
Monday 21 December 2009
The following is an article found in a magazine that is wildly popular throughout the galaxy, though not so much on Earth... I went to great pains to translate this article, hope you enjoy reading it...
A planet situated at the very edge of the spiral arm of the Milky Way, was once dominated by a bipedal species which thought of itself as having originated through divine means. The chimps and gorillas who knew better always had a good laugh when they saw these creatures.
However, the situation rapidly deteriorated into something that the other wiser organisms couldn't laugh about any more. Humans continued to be their smug selves with major superiority complexes. At one point, some of them realized that they were literally raping their mother, Earth. When they spoke about it in public, others hushed them; incest wasn't something that their society allowed them to talk about openly, especially when everyone was doing it.
Oedipus complex aside, many of them thought that they had the right to do as they pleased, because after all, they had been made in the image of God!
When their world leaders gathered together to discuss matters such as dangerous weapons being amassed and the pollution of valuable resources which could effectively make the planet unsuitable for habitation, they ended up arguing about who was responsible for the state of affairs, and who ought to clean it up.
Apart from their utter disregard for the life forms that co-habited their incredibly bio-diverse planet, they also displayed extreme nausea towards others of their own species who chose to think differently. What the majority ordained would become the norm, so much so that in some cultures, it was acceptable to terminate the life of infants if the gender of the infant was female (for further details, see pg 1,380,567 of the detailed analysis of the human race). Further, their irrational imaginary skills made many believe that theirs was the "chosen" race, much like the Brazorgans of the 311AG68 sector who were captured and quarantined by the Galaxy Pre-emptive Strike Organisation. Individuals subscribing to a certain religious ideology would preach "universal love", "forgiveness" and "brotherhood" amongst themselves, but would display extreme intolerance when in the presence of other individuals of a different religion.
Many wars were waged throughout the world due to the irrational ideology preached by innumerable pontiffs that their ideology was the only Truth, and all others must be silenced by any means!
The first instance of contact between us and them was on 1EE-560-6700 when a remote outpost of the Galactic Navy was seized by a "scientific expedition" of the Earthlings. This scientific expedition consisted of more military personnel than researchers. The outpost at first did not retaliate and attempted to make contact with the Earthlings. Soon, 20,000 years later, talks broke down, and no diplomatic solution was within sight. The Earthlings refused to give up their unsustainable methods, and had ruined a few thousand planets making them impossible to inhabit for the next 3 millennia.
Which is why the Galactic Administration has decided to assign the Earthlings to the same fate as the Brazorgans. This article has been published at the specific request of the Galactic Administration which needs your endorsement to carry forward the "Earthlings Reassignment Act". Kindly exercise your franchise on 21EE-309-1099 at a polling booth in your respective home sectors and help rid the galaxy of the menacing influence of the Earthlings.
This might have floated in through a wormhole as it appears to have been written many millennia in the future. Well, at least this means that there is hope for our species yet. We now know that we shall at least survive a couple of million years.
A planet situated at the very edge of the spiral arm of the Milky Way, was once dominated by a bipedal species which thought of itself as having originated through divine means. The chimps and gorillas who knew better always had a good laugh when they saw these creatures.
However, the situation rapidly deteriorated into something that the other wiser organisms couldn't laugh about any more. Humans continued to be their smug selves with major superiority complexes. At one point, some of them realized that they were literally raping their mother, Earth. When they spoke about it in public, others hushed them; incest wasn't something that their society allowed them to talk about openly, especially when everyone was doing it.
Oedipus complex aside, many of them thought that they had the right to do as they pleased, because after all, they had been made in the image of God!
When their world leaders gathered together to discuss matters such as dangerous weapons being amassed and the pollution of valuable resources which could effectively make the planet unsuitable for habitation, they ended up arguing about who was responsible for the state of affairs, and who ought to clean it up.
Apart from their utter disregard for the life forms that co-habited their incredibly bio-diverse planet, they also displayed extreme nausea towards others of their own species who chose to think differently. What the majority ordained would become the norm, so much so that in some cultures, it was acceptable to terminate the life of infants if the gender of the infant was female (for further details, see pg 1,380,567 of the detailed analysis of the human race). Further, their irrational imaginary skills made many believe that theirs was the "chosen" race, much like the Brazorgans of the 311AG68 sector who were captured and quarantined by the Galaxy Pre-emptive Strike Organisation. Individuals subscribing to a certain religious ideology would preach "universal love", "forgiveness" and "brotherhood" amongst themselves, but would display extreme intolerance when in the presence of other individuals of a different religion.
Many wars were waged throughout the world due to the irrational ideology preached by innumerable pontiffs that their ideology was the only Truth, and all others must be silenced by any means!
The first instance of contact between us and them was on 1EE-560-6700 when a remote outpost of the Galactic Navy was seized by a "scientific expedition" of the Earthlings. This scientific expedition consisted of more military personnel than researchers. The outpost at first did not retaliate and attempted to make contact with the Earthlings. Soon, 20,000 years later, talks broke down, and no diplomatic solution was within sight. The Earthlings refused to give up their unsustainable methods, and had ruined a few thousand planets making them impossible to inhabit for the next 3 millennia.
Which is why the Galactic Administration has decided to assign the Earthlings to the same fate as the Brazorgans. This article has been published at the specific request of the Galactic Administration which needs your endorsement to carry forward the "Earthlings Reassignment Act". Kindly exercise your franchise on 21EE-309-1099 at a polling booth in your respective home sectors and help rid the galaxy of the menacing influence of the Earthlings.
This might have floated in through a wormhole as it appears to have been written many millennia in the future. Well, at least this means that there is hope for our species yet. We now know that we shall at least survive a couple of million years.
Sunday 6 December 2009
People-4
In continuation of my "People" series, I present here an interview of my brother. Thank you bro for taking time out of your busy schedule to answer these questions, and I wish you all the very best with your exams.
Q1) Define yourself.
Defining a person is pretty hard, but i'll try my best. The first thing that people generally remark about me when we become friends is that i have an inferiority complex. I agree, no point arguing with so many people. I have this notion that however hard one tries to perfect something, somewhere in some corner of the world, there will be someone who can do it better. So i work for myself and myself alone. Call me selfish, but thats how i work.
I make friends very slowly, something i don't actually like about me. But once i do make friends i end up trusting those people a lot. Thats it i think..
Q2) You are about to outgrow your teenage years. What are your feelings on that front, how were your teenage years and what are you looking forward to now?
There's this one opinion i have. Each person grows at their own rate, mentally or physically. So although one does outgrow his childhood at some point, it remains to be seen if that someone has become an adult. Each person has their own span of teenage-hood and that could extend upto any point in their life. My teenage years were great. I feel i kept pace with my physical age by growing up with it :D
I'm looking forward to the usual, car and bike license and so on. But there's one thing i can't wait for. to vote!! i follow politics quite closely although i prefer not taking any sides. I feel responsible now, and i want to learn more about the world and how it works (you have no idea how hard it is to get a banker's cheque)
Q3) As a younger sibling, do you feel that life might have been different had you been the older one?
Definitely. Being the older sibling requires one to display a greater maturity. I've never stuck up for any one, or tried solving any one's problems. But you've done that for me, and having that sort of common sense and maturity is quite different. Although life may not have been drastically different, it definitely would have been.
Q4) What are your feelings now that you are at the crossroads of your life? (I mean the 12th board exams et al)
Ah. I have to admit i'm quite nervous already. The sort of competition for higher education is insane. My exams just got over, and that has given me some slight confidence because i feel i have done reasonably well, although results are yet to come out. It eventually comes down to the board exams i think. Everything that has happened doesn't count. Just that one exam is going to predict what is to come. Freaky!
Q5) Do you know clearly what it is that you want out of life? What is going to be your career choice?
I haven't made any choices yet. Thats something i like about myself. I don't actually despise anything, i see that in myself everyday. Movies which everyone else hate, i would've watched it twice. The same is the case with my higher studies. I like everything i have seen till now. Law, Engineering, Pure Science, Journalism, Business studies (though that is practically ruled out) and so on. Right now though, i feel it comes down to the first three, and more importantly the first. That is an added advantage considering the amount of competition. I won't be overly disappointed if i do not get some course.
Q1) Define yourself.
Defining a person is pretty hard, but i'll try my best. The first thing that people generally remark about me when we become friends is that i have an inferiority complex. I agree, no point arguing with so many people. I have this notion that however hard one tries to perfect something, somewhere in some corner of the world, there will be someone who can do it better. So i work for myself and myself alone. Call me selfish, but thats how i work.
I make friends very slowly, something i don't actually like about me. But once i do make friends i end up trusting those people a lot. Thats it i think..
Q2) You are about to outgrow your teenage years. What are your feelings on that front, how were your teenage years and what are you looking forward to now?
There's this one opinion i have. Each person grows at their own rate, mentally or physically. So although one does outgrow his childhood at some point, it remains to be seen if that someone has become an adult. Each person has their own span of teenage-hood and that could extend upto any point in their life. My teenage years were great. I feel i kept pace with my physical age by growing up with it :D
I'm looking forward to the usual, car and bike license and so on. But there's one thing i can't wait for. to vote!! i follow politics quite closely although i prefer not taking any sides. I feel responsible now, and i want to learn more about the world and how it works (you have no idea how hard it is to get a banker's cheque)
Q3) As a younger sibling, do you feel that life might have been different had you been the older one?
Definitely. Being the older sibling requires one to display a greater maturity. I've never stuck up for any one, or tried solving any one's problems. But you've done that for me, and having that sort of common sense and maturity is quite different. Although life may not have been drastically different, it definitely would have been.
Q4) What are your feelings now that you are at the crossroads of your life? (I mean the 12th board exams et al)
Ah. I have to admit i'm quite nervous already. The sort of competition for higher education is insane. My exams just got over, and that has given me some slight confidence because i feel i have done reasonably well, although results are yet to come out. It eventually comes down to the board exams i think. Everything that has happened doesn't count. Just that one exam is going to predict what is to come. Freaky!
Q5) Do you know clearly what it is that you want out of life? What is going to be your career choice?
I haven't made any choices yet. Thats something i like about myself. I don't actually despise anything, i see that in myself everyday. Movies which everyone else hate, i would've watched it twice. The same is the case with my higher studies. I like everything i have seen till now. Law, Engineering, Pure Science, Journalism, Business studies (though that is practically ruled out) and so on. Right now though, i feel it comes down to the first three, and more importantly the first. That is an added advantage considering the amount of competition. I won't be overly disappointed if i do not get some course.
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