Saturday 1 November 2008

Welcome to my mind

“Hi, welcome to my head, hope you don’t mind the mess in here. That song that you can hear in the background, try listening to it. It is one of my favorite songs of all time. Its called ‘I’m a Rock’ by Simon and Garfunkel. Sometimes I have felt just like that. Like there is no point in life as we know it. When the feeling overpowers me, I’m left wondering why we are, what we are and why we do the stuff that we do.

Sometimes, I feel like it is all pointless, that there is no point to existence but to live and then die. What else is there? All of us go through life, we have our ups and downs, and we struggle and work and strive until our families are well settled and safe and then what? We just die, all of us. After having led a life full of struggle, no matter how rich or poor you are, regardless of your societal status, you would have had to struggle through some part of your life. Even if you had been a rich kid with all the creature comforts, the mere fact that you had to live a life with no point to it would be reason enough to depress you.

I have been depressed by the fact that there is no point to existence. But on other occasions, I have been awed by existence. On a few occasions, to such an extent that I felt my entire being touched by everything around me.

It happened on the balcony of my hostel. Our campus is quite beautiful and during the evenings, you find flocks of exotic birds flying around. On that day, everything seemed perfect, the setting sun looked like a giant orange laddoo, the birds chirping in the trees seemed to be singing a song and the breeze started dancing to the tune. It was then that I felt this profound feeling, like I was just a small part of this awesome and beautiful universe. I could sort of feel the cosmic dance all around me. It felt like I could sense the entire universe all around me and I felt like an integral part of it all. The strength of the feeling was so intense that I had tears in my eyes.

Moments like this have happened on a few more occasions, and one memorable time was when I was in one of the woods surrounding Nainital from where the Himalayan range was visible. Nature wields such a powerful influence over me that I would even give up the heights of orgasm to be in the beautiful environs of a place like Nainital.
But after having given this subject ample amount of thought, I have come to a conclusion which shall stand until I come across evidence contrary to its implications. You see, life is amazing enough for it to justify its existence without having to give you a point to its existence. You get me? Life need not give you a point or a reason for its existence because the mere amazing, awe inspiring, varied beauty and brutality of life is sufficient without one having to seek out the point to all existence. Though one may still go along that path, I’ve decided to stop treading down that road and instead, simply enjoy the moment and experience everything that life has to offer.

Right, I see that you are getting impatient and are dying to get out of my mind, so here goes, initiating ejection process… Bye!”

2 comments:

Akash Verma said...

sometimes life isn't about walking down the long road...from the start...to the end. Wats the point if u dont stop to glance at the blooming flowers on the side of the road...or the birds flying above...or the footsteps u leave behind in the dirt and the snow. wat good was ur journey if u missed everythin there was to see...to hear...to breathe...to touch.

Life is pointless if u live it like a tourist....but its amazing if u experience it like a traveler! :-)

Anonymous said...

Life is all about understanding that each one of us is part of this grand universe, each one fitting into the grand puzzle.We feel remorseful only when a disconnect happens and look at the universe as a spectator. You know what, for all we know, maybe you're being admired and appreciated by some species just the way you've been doing.