People- 2

This is the interview of a good friend of mine. She however said she would kill me if I revealed her identity on the blog, and as I truly fear for my life, I shall not do so. Though for those who already know her, simply reading the questions and answers will reveal her identity... Thank you dear friend for taking so much time out for answering all these questions...


My Friend: "Ok... so... time to dive into the Q&As. This is so weird. I am usually the one doing the interviewing for my newspaper job."


Q1) If one asked you to define yourself, how would you go about doing it? (If you are going to use the word "Goonkie", then you have to also give the full meaning here... :=) )

I would describe myself as a goonkie (you are right... you caught me!) But now maybe I should elaborate on that. I think I would define a goonkie as someone like one of those perpetual motion machines - constantly seeking equilibrium. Someone confused and easygoing but with good intentions. Of course, with a person of that character, the definition of goonkie is also subject to change so that is why I always say, "You just know if you are a goonkie or not. Its not exactly definable."


Q2) As a girl, did you feel like things were unfairly going against you at any point in your life? If so, then when, where, how and why?

Fortunately I have never had to face any discrimination because of my gender and even if I did, I probably didn't notice. I have felt indignant and angry on behalf of other women many times but never had to for myself.


Q3) You have been around the world, what were your experiences? How did you adapt yourself to your new surroundings?

Ok... so this is a very broad question... Travelling to different places is very different from living there because as a tourist, you are allowed, no actually, encouraged to stand out. I can't really say how I adapted to different surroundings because that differed each time. The one thing I always have to do, whether living there or just being a tourist is get a map - I am a compulsive navigator. It almost becomes a quest for hidden treasure or something. I hate being wrong while map reading, I hate asking for directions (I'm worse than a guy that way) and I hate not being able to walk or take public transport.


Q4) What is your most treasured memory? Walk us through it...

O...K.. THis is another tough question. I have way too many fantastic memories. One of them definitely has to be Sports Day Closing Ceremony. I remember that as if it were yesterday - pulling down the flags in the rain, and slowmarching forward together to the strains of Abide with Me, with the rain pouring down so hard. I have a confession to make: I was actually crying, weeping at that moment. We were all wet anyway, raindrops were dripping down our faces mingling with tears. It was one of those, "No one will notice if you cry in this rain, so you can actually be a little weak girl and cry now!" kinda moments.


Q5) Give me an insight into the extremely active child component in your mental make up... What sort of changes has this part of your character experienced over the years?

hahahaha... I think its still very much alive and well. I think what usually happens to people when they grow up is that this part gets disillusioned during college life and goes through its adolescence as well and slowly grows up. Whereas in my case, I went to college with people who were much older than I was, so I became kinds schizophrenic - sometimes being very grown up and other times being a child and constantly trying to find a balance. It usually never comes out for the big things but little things - like when I was travelling in S.E. Asia last year with my friends, I got super-excited when I saw one of those small paper cocktail umbrellas in a smoothie store in Singapore. I got so excited in fact that I had to buy myself a smoothie just so I could have the umbrella and took pictures with it all day long. Small pleasures like that are just unbeatable - a paper cocktail umbrella, jumping in puddles, playing with balloons, eating ice cream and dripping it all down the front of your clothes. sigh...


Q6) As a girl in India, did you feel like there were certain problems with the way society expects women to fall into stereotypes? Do you think that it is any different in the other cultures that you have been a part of?

I think every society has a stereotype of women. That is necessary because without stereotypes people would go mad trying to deal with the diversity. Everyone needs to compartmentalize thoughts in someway. Its funny because I was just talking about this with a friend of mine (you won't believe how long this mail has taken in preparation). My friend is actually exploring the concept of feminism for her poltical science studies right now and we were talking about it during lunch. She is originally from Congo but has grown up in France and Denmark and other parts of continental Europe - so she understands the problem of the stereotypes of women similar to what we have in India but also understands the Scandinavian way - where there is a less of a gender divide, where women tend to behave less feminine and men behave more feminine to make up that gap - so everyone becomes kind of androgynous.

We agreed that these stereotypes of women were actually quite universal. Women, everywhere, are considered the primary care givers in a family, and even in Scandinavia, women still do fulfill that role. Basically, we felt that these stereotypes were merely a result of societal expectations - expectations that arose from a practice of supression from almost pre-historic times when women, being the weaker sex, did actually depend on men to protect them. We were trying to trace back the origin of this practice and we reached the conclusion that it is sort of like a 'which came first - the chicken or the egg' argument... For example, were women being oppressed and subdued into being the primary care givers by men, who in turn felt it was their right to exert their power over women OR did women accept the role of being the primary care givers to make life easier for men who protected them...

I guess this was a far more convulted answer than you were expecting. Its just that I was stuck on this question today morning and then at lunch we had this huge conversation and so I couldn't help giving you the highlights. Sowwy.. *gives sheepish look*


Q7) With skewed sex ratios in many parts of India, it must be extremely aggravating for a freethinking girl like you... what are your comments on this situation? How can change be brought about?
Firstly, thanks for calling me freethinking. That's pretty cool.. :P I think in a lot of cases, women are themselves responsible for these skewed sex ratios. Some of the most chauvinistic people I have ever met are women. And yes, that does make me very mad because I just feel this leads to a lot of senseless waste of time, energy, resources and often, even a waste of life.

Secondly, and perhaps what I loathe the most about the situation is the hypocrisy. In general, all Indians, naturally, are born with the ability to cope with paradoxes on a daily basis that most Westeners cannot understand. This can be a great source of pride but it can also be a source of disappointment because this very same ability enables us to turn a blind eye to all the hypocrisy in Indian society. For example, have you ever noticed that the most religiously chauvanistic men are the biggest devotees of Lakshmi, or Durga, or Kali or any other goddess? How are we so comfortable with this?!?!

I don't know how change can be brought about - I wish I did. I think a lot has to with economic well-being. The moment people are economically well-off, they demand an education for their children and this education leads to an enlightened future generation who will have the opportunity to be even better off and lead to more awareness. I think its something that needs to start at a young age - something that should start in school. I wish I had a more detailed plan but I don't know enough. I mean, these are just the rantings of an ignorant but opinionated fool that can mean nothing without a more specific context or scenario.


Q8) Tell me about music in your life. What sort of a role does it play in your life day in and day out?
hahaha.. Again, another question that is so vast I cannot even begin to think of how to answer it. Maybe I should start at the beginning. I love music - it makes me happy and I love all kinds of music (with, possibly, the exception of some heavy metal, but you never know with me). My iPod is filled with the most random music from the most random parts of the world. When I hear music I like, I tend to get obsessed about it and cannot function until I have heard it a million times. Its almost a necessity - its like breathing. I need to have music.

The first ever memory of musical obsession I have dates all the way back to when I was 3. We used to live in Bombay at the time, in Bandra, and our house was really close to this big school ground where they used to host weddings. During that time, there was a song called 'Didi' by this Arabic artist Khaled that was on top of the charts and so it would inevitably land up being played at all the wedding parties. I would stay up late at night, way past my bed time listening at the window everytime there was a wedding there, in the hope that I would hear it. My parents gave up trying to get me to go to bed on those days because I couldn't budge. And even now, for some strange reason, I still love the song.

Or the time in 10th standard, during the boards, when I was haunted by this Japanese song that I had heard a snippet of while channel surfing. It drove me mad - I almost screwed up my boards because I had to keep hunting for that song. Or the day I heard the soundtrack for the Lord of the Rings and spent hours locked up in my room pretending I was a conductor, conducting my stereo system with a hairbrush. hahaha...

The other thing I love about music is the way it forms connections in my memories so much so that I end up linking people to songs. For example, I link you to that Aasma song, Tumse hi Pyaar because of how you and Yao mangled the Hindi words during music competition practice to annoy Pri. I also remember you with Annie's Song. I link Yao to A Tout Le Monde and Blood Brothers because he would constantly try to make me play those on my violin. I link Baba to the song Plaisir d'Amour (which Rodrigues sang for one Music Competition) because I spent almost an entire hour trying to give him the correct French pronunciation. My favourites though, are songs I have danced to with people. Basically, when I hear those tunes, its like the memory of those moments plays in my head with that song as a soundtrack.


Q9) What do you think about love? Have you ever been in love?
I don't know about love. I firmly believe that people as young as 16 or 17 cannot ever experience true love. However, since its me, and I hate ever having an extreme opinion about anything, this firm belief does tend to waiver a bit. ;)

I don't know if I have ever been in love. Do you know that? How does one know? I know we all laughed at Sid when he went around in 12th asking the whole class, "What a crush was? And if we thought he had a crush on Ron?" but the man does have a point... How does one know these things? Maybe it like happiness or anger, people don't need teach you what they are for you to feel it but then again, maybe its not like that... Who knows?


Q10) Tell me something about your family...

My family... is my life. I would be lost without them. Its interesting how when you grow older you begin to see you family in a different light - you see your parents as human, not perfect and you see your siblings for the adults they grow up to become. My folks are nuts though, like all good parents and siblings. My Dad is a workaholic and the most practically idealistic person I have ever known, my Mum is an incurably efficient multitasker and resident tower of strength and my brother is the world's greatest bookworm and general all-round troubleshooter. Put all these people in a house together and you have organized chaos...