Random Ramblings

A Most Unfortunate Turtle

2011-02-12T23:58:00.001+05:30

"Please photograph the turtle with its carapace facing upwards and once with its belly upwards. Place a scale alongside it for reference. Please mail these photos to me, and release it into the sea.", said Dr Divya.

"All right madam... No its not a problem at all, I'll take care of it. Right ma'am.", said Adesh as he cut the call and stuffed the phone down his pocket.

"Is it a turtle or a tortoise? Is there a difference at all?" asked Pandey.

A quick look on wikipedia revealed to both the young civil engineers that turtles primarily habituated aquatic environs while tortoises were found in arid regions.

Adesh and Pandey had come to the worksite- situated on the shore of the Bay of Bengal, forty kilometers north of Chennai- in the morning to find their labourers and supervisors peering into a water tank. Upon closer inspection, they found that there was a turtle inside the tank. Apparently, Billu, one of the workmen had found the animal nearby and had brought it to the camp site.

"Maine road pe se uthaya sirji", said Billu in hindi. ("I lifted it off the road").

For the past couple of months, many Olive Ridley turtles' carcasses had turned up on the beach. Dr Divya, a retired professor from a Marine Fisheries Research Institute had been notified and had personally visited the site a few times to identify the species. She had advised the two engineers to take due care and report any findings of live or dead turtles or egg laying sites.

Upon finding the little turtle inside the tank, and that too alive, Adesh was ecstatic. He had been an avid watcher of documentaries featuring animals since childhood. The sight of so many dead creatures had made him call Dr Divya initially when the carcasses had been turning up. After feeling helpless for so many days, here was his chance at last to do his bit to help this ancient species. He was sure that the small turtle was an infant and had lost its way after hatching. He decided that he would release it into the sea much like the Steve Irwins on television.

Pandey on the other hand was ecstatic too, but for a different reason. His eyes came half out of their sockets, and his smile revealed most of his teeth; his canines shining brightly.

"Lets eat it!", cried Pandey.

"No!", cried Adesh and half the labourers.

"Yes!", cried the other half with glee.

"Its an endangered creature! Don't you have enough of chicken and fish as it is?", said Adesh.

"Look Adesh, I grew up working part time at a butcher's shop. When I look at goats or chickens, I only see the curry, not the animals. I've had a long unfulfilled wish to eat a tortoise, let me have this one." pleaded Pandey.

Kalu, one of the labourers, took up Pandey's case. He explained patiently to Adesh and the others opposed to eating the turtle that the best way to cook them would be to put them into a vessel containing boiling water while they are still alive. The vessel would have to be closed with a heavy lid, or a stone could be placed upon a lighter lid to prevent the turtle from escaping the vessel as it frantically rushes around inside it during its final death throes.

"Gud gud gud gud gud gud... Gud gud gud gud gud gud... Gud gud gud gud gud gud... Bhagega!", cried out Kalu while circling his arms horizontally indicating that the turtle would rush around in circles within the vessel while noises indicated by the onomatopoeic 'Gud gud gud gud gud gud...' would be generated.

Post the boiling procedure, the turtle would be relieved of its carapace and seasoned and cooked in a gravy.

"Please don't call that Divya lady! Let me have this thing!" cried out Pandey as if he were gasping for water in the heart of the Thar on a hot summer day. He had been quite inspired by Kalu's vivid description of the cooking procedure.

"DOCTOR Divya! She is a senior scientist who retired from a very high position from a national institute, at least have a little respect!" said Adesh as he fished out his phone and dialed the number.

The number turned out to be wrong, much to Pandey's amusement. But Adesh prevailed upon him to call Dr Divya.

"Fine, I'll call this Divya woman." said Pandey grumpily.

"The turtle seems to be a young one judging by its photographs. It is probably scared to venture out into the sea. After releasing it, please observe to see if it returns to the shore. Call me back if that happens, we will then have to rehabilitate it elsewhere." said Dr Divya.

Adesh and Pandey proceeded towards the shore followed by ten of their workmen.

"Fine, but if the damn thing comes back, it is mine!" cried out Pandey.

Standing a few feet from the water, Adesh freed the turtle on the sandy beach. Within seconds, it completely burrowed and buried itself into the soil.

Billu had been observing the two engineers. He intervened at this point and asked them what it was exactly that they planned to do. Adesh took it upon himself to explain the life cycle of Olive Ridleys and how the young ones needed to swim out to sea immediately upon hatching.

"Par yeh namak pani ka toh nahi hai sirji!", cried Billu. (But this isn't a sea water turtle sir)

Adesh and Pandey assured him that a highly learned person, recently retired from a premier institute had seen the photographs, and they were simply following her advice. Billu nodded his consent, although he had originally brought the turtle to the campsite with the hope of raising it.

Kalu dug the turtle out. It immediately receded into its carapace, Kalu started tapping on its shell while wearing a hungry smile on his face. "Gud gud gud gud gud gud...", cried he delightfully, making one last futile attempt to make Adesh see his point.

Pandey snatched the turtle from Kalu's hands, rushed out towards the sea and released it in waist deep water. Everyone sighed as they watched the turtle swim away in the turbulent rough sea, although half of them sighed with relief and the other half from disappointment.

"Kya fayda sirji, yeh to mar jayega!" cried a forlorn Kalu. (What's the use sir, it will surely die.)

Adesh had had enough of this rubbish and turned the full force of his ire towards Kalu and Billu who had persisted on having morbid thoughts despite being assured of Adesh's ten years of NGC watching experience and the qualifications of Dr Divya.

"The female turtles come onto the shore and dig a hole to lay their eggs. Once the hatch-ling digs itself out of the nest, it needs to move out towards the sea. This turtle must have lost its way, which is why you found it on the road behind our camp site-"

"Not the road behind out camp site sir! But the Chennai bye-pass highway near Ponneri!" cried out Billu cutting short Adesh's monologue.

"But that is 20 kilometers inland! Then this couldn't possibly be a sea turtle!" exclaimed Adesh while turning to look horror struck at the huge waves crashing onto the shore. The Bay of Bengal was not at all happy, and it showed! The swells could be seen breaking far before the inter-tidal zone, and the strong wind wasn't helping matters much.

Adesh ordered the entire group to get back to work while trying to mollify an irate Pandey.

"You brought the damn thing from twenty kilometers away and you tell us now! After its thrown into the bloody sea! Its not even endangered! I could have eaten it, if only you had opened your mouth earlier!" shouted Pandey at Billu.

A few hours later, Kalu came running towards Pandey. They could be seen whispering together much like conspirators planning a despot's demise.

"Don't stop me now, remember the deal, its mine if it returns!" said Pandey.

Adesh didn't try to stop Pandey and he tried not to get too perturbed by Kalu who was circling his arms wildly while repeatedly crying, "Gud gud gud gud gud gud..."

Dr Divya was informed about the successful release of the Olive Ridley hatchling, without too much of the details to prevent confusion.

Yesu and the Cyclone

2010-12-05T18:38:00.001+05:30

Exhausted though he was, he was determined that he could not possibly allow Death to claim him, despite the severe cyclone attempting otherwise. Not after the pains he had gone to for the past few months.

Yesudass, or Yesu had had a fairly good and laid back life, born as he was into a fishing community in the Katupally village, north of Chennai. Long days spent out at sea with friends, and longer nights spent at the local liquor shop with even more friends had pretty much defined Yesu's life since he had started working- that too had happened early due to the advancing years of his parents who had conceived Yesu more as an afterthought quite late in life.

Most of the trouble had begun when he had gotten married to Nina, one of the most beautiful and sought after maidens in his village. His parents were almost senile, and it was his mother's wish that he marry before they were to completely lose their senses as it would facilitate a peaceful and regret free demise.

Nina, being the headman's daughter, was entitled to a grand wedding- and a grand wedding it was! The labourers from the neighbouring ship yard under construction were drawn irresistibly to witness the spectacle.

The "first night" as it is known was to take place that very night and Yesu was literally bursting with excitement and anticipation! He had seen a pornographic video once and it had vividly remained in his memory. He could barely wait to live the very dream that had consumed his nights leading up to the wedding.

Little did he know that an earthquake had occurred in Indonesia creating near panic among the local officials who immediately issued a warning against the possibility of a tsunami similar to the massive one that had claimed hundreds of thousands of lives in 2004.

Yesu gently made the beautiful and shy Nina sit on his lap, nuzzled her neck and held her tightly. Just as he was ready to kiss her tender lips, there was a loud knock on the door. Ignoring it, Yesu started disrobing Nina who protested due to the incessant knocking on the door.

A very grumpy and irritated Yesu could only frown as his friends kept asking him for intimate details of his "first night" as they sat together in the local school which had been turned into an ad hoc shelter. The tsunami had not happened at all and Yesu was livid with the police inspector who had very dutifully evacuated the village just as Yesu had begun to live the fantasy that had consumed his mind for months.

He was a literal nervous wreck by the time the sun had set and Nina and Yesu found themselves alone in their bedroom once again. But this time, Nina fended off every attempt made by Yesu to get close to her!

"I think it is a sign from God that we aren't ready for this yet", stuttered Nina. "We should probably just go to sleep now."

Yesu's mind could very easily have been diagnosed as that of a demented and delusional person's by the end of the first week. His friends who had also got to know of the facts could not keep from guffawing in his presence. Soon the whole village got to know of Yesu and Nina's predicament and the local temple priest called on them with very sound advice.

"It had been a threat issued by the God of the ocean that had interrupted the nuptial communion. So it logically follows that you two should begin to sleep within the same room only when there is a sign from the Lord of the waves that all is well. Nina, I command you to not allow Yesu into your bedroom until he is able to capture a large fish!" said the priest gesturing with his arms nearly a meter apart.

"But that is impossible! You know what rotten luck I have at fishing! Are you doing this to take revenge for the time when I made fun of your fake predictions and astrology?" cried out a deeply perturbed Yesu.

But Nina had taken the God man's advice seriously leaving Yesu only one way out of their predicament. With a new found energy and zeal, he would awake hours before daybreak and set out in his fiber glass catamaran. He would rove the seas looking very much like the captain Ahab chasing Moby-Dick.

Day after day, he would return with the usual catch of small fish. He would silently spread his bedsheet on the pyol of his house and promptly fall asleep due to the exhausting work. Days congealed into weeks which very quickly turned into months. Yesu and Nina had not had a physical relationship as yet, and both of them were getting frustrated, Yesu more than Nina. They had bought in to the God man's story too deeply to realise that the dredging being done within the ship yard under construction next to their village had muddied all the waters and scared away the fish.

Come November, the whole village motored their boats out of their berths in the sea into the safer backwaters, as it was cyclone season. Yesu however, continued to fish in the sea with single minded determination. His friends tried pleading with him at first and then with the God man to change his definition of a "large" fish, but to no avail.

The day when the Fishing board sent a vehicle with the loudspeakers blaring out a "Cyclone Warning" was when Yesu had reached his breaking point. He was sure that if his luck were not to change soon, he would definitely lose his mind permanently.

He silently slunk away when his friends who had come to keep a watch on him had been sufficiently distracted by alcohol induced intoxication.

To say that the sea was rough would be a huge understatement, as huge an understatement as calling the sun a 100 watt bulb, or the planet Jupiter a mere pebble floating in space. Of course, scale does matter, and if you are a giant organism, many hundred times the size of humans, then the waves in the sea on that day would have seemed like ripples. As far as Yesu was concerned though, the wind and the waves were DEADLY!

But in his delusional state, Yesu was convinced that this was nothing but another taunt from the Lord of the Ocean. Barely had he launched his boat a few meters into the roiling waters when a huge wave bodily lifted him and his catamaran and flung it across at the rocks that had been piled along the breakwater of the shipyard under construction. His boat got wedged between the boulders and Yesu was lying in it in a semi-conscious state. The heavy rain poured, poured and poured until it seemed that all the air in the atmosphere had been replaced with water. The wind blew with such force and venom as if to reassert its presence. The huge droplets whipped around by the wind hit Yesu's face with lashing force.

Yesu groggily looked around at the sea as the waves broke onto the breakwater from both sides. In the distance, towards the sea side end of the breakwater, Yesu thought he had seen a boulder standing as tall as him being rolled by the huge waves. He held out a single fist and spat out an angry curse at the Sea God, only to be hit by a wave that had managed to sweep onto the high breakwater. As he tumbled and rolled along with the wave, he saw in the brown, foamy and turbulent waters a huge black shape with fins and a tail. It was as big as a motorcar and Yesu was sure that it was the hugest fish that humanity had ever laid eyes upon. He latched onto the barnacles growing on the underbelly of the large marine creature that feebly thrashed as it was deposited onto the breakwater. He lied down beside it and fell unconscious.

The storm had passed, and the following day had dawned with a brilliant and azure blue sky. The news channels were the first to arrive onto the breakwater, followed by the villagers and last but not least, the police and paramedics.

Yesu had been revived by one of the paramedics who very readily allowed the television journalists to interview the man who had captured a baby humpback whale with his bare hands! The glucose shot in his arm had managed to bring him to his senses and the saline drip gave him sufficient strength to begin to comprehend the happenings over the last twenty four hours.

The whale carcass was still lying where he had lain along with it.

"How are you feeling right now Yesu?" cried out a hyperventilating reporter who seemed obsessed about reminding the viewers that her news channel had been the first on the spot.

"I really caught a big fish didn't I?" cried out Yesu in Tamil.

"Heh heh, the humpback whale is actually a mammal, a warm blooded creature very much like you and me, it is not exactly a fish, but Yesu here, the amazing fisherman who had lain unconscious and had been protected by the carcass of the whale is fortunate enough to have survived this amazing ordeal, I don't think he would be worrying very much about the distinction between fishes and marine mammals." said the reporter into her mike in one breathless sentence. It was all said in English though, and was lost on Yesu.

That night was the beginning of an extremely satisfactory and a joyous married life for Yesudass and Nina.

The Curious Case of Pyarelal Indrajeet

2010-07-24T20:46:00.001+05:30

Pyarelal Indrajeet sat leaning against one of the pillars of the small Vinayak temple beside NH8, a few kilometers from Vapi in Gujrat. His face had a blank expression as he stared at the elephant faced idol which seemed to be mockingly smiling back at him.

The last of the season's monsoon was drizzling outside. The headlights of the innumerable vehicles plying on the busy highway provided illumination inside the temple intermittently.

The monsoons had always boded ill for Pyarelal. He had barely been ten when a fever had gripped his tiny frame along with the onset of the monsoons. For months, he lay under the fever's deathly spell. So much so that, even his parents had given up hope, however, with the last of the season's monsoon, young Pyarelal's fever too subsided.

He had been fifteen when he found to his great dismay that he had failed his board examinations. The first rains of the season washed away his red hot tears which poured profusely after his father had administered a sound beating. His father decided to discontinue Pyarelal's education and bought an autorikshaw for him, dashing all his hopes of higher studies.

A few years later, it was during the monsoons that he got married and the very next year, it was during the monsoons that he lost his father and became one himself.

Understandably, Pyarelal had been jittery while transporting a few engineers in his autorikshaw as black clouds could be seen lining the horizon. As he took a turning off NH8 near the Vinayak temple, it began to rain. Pyarelal- who had always been an astute and keen observer of the rains due to his fortunes being inexplicably and inextricably linked to the monsoons- noticed that the rain was especially heavy and intense. His small auto bumped up and down over the ill maintained road leading to a quarry.

Pyarelal wasn't especially shocked when his auto's wheel got stuck in a puddle and refused to budge, after all, this was the least he expected. Since the quarry was well removed from the highway, no mechanic could be found nearby. Leaving his auto behind, Pyarelal braved the downpour to find a mechanic near the highway. As he trudged past the Vinayak temple, he noticed that the Bhilkadi river flowing next to the highway had flooded its banks and had formed a great lake where there had once been green pastures.

The mechanic got his scooter ready after much coaxing by Pyarelal and the two of them rode out to the place where the auto had gotten stuck in the mud only to find that it had simply disappeared. The mechanic explained to Pyarelal that either the auto could have rolled into the deep hole in the ground that had been blasted by the quarry owners, or it could have been stolen. Pyarelal thanked him for pointing out the obvious and cursed the rains, and Indira, the God of rains.

The police inspector laughed so violently that his huge belly wobbled. Pyarelal sat with hunched shoulders and looked around him with a sheepish expression. Apparently, the bribe that Pyarelal had offered for tracing his autorikshaw had been abysmally low when compared to the industrial standard prompting the jocularity on the part of the huge man in khaki.

Pyarelal's wife couldn't make ends meet and had weeks ago decided to take the kids and go to her maternal uncle's house. This was indeed a great insult to any Indian "man", and Pyarelal couldn't brook the embarrassment of not being able to provide for his family. But there was little he could do, now that his only source of income, the autorikshaw had been taken by the rain gods.

The monsoons continued to beat down mercilessly upon the Indian subcontinent, bringing great joy and vibrancy throughout the region, however, Pyarelal's situation had only worsened with each passing soggy day.

Driven to work as a casual labourer, Pyarelal joined the workforce at the very quarry where his fortunes had taken a huge dip. This however only worsened his mental and physical condition such that he decided to let the very rains take away his life.

So, Pyarelal walked through the last of the season's rain, which had turned into a gentle drizzle. As he reached the Vinayak temple on NH8, he decided to sit there to rest his aching bones and curse the unhelpful Gods before taking his final plunge into the lake that had been formed by the Bhilkadi river which had flooded its banks. However, sleep overcame his tired mind and body and it was the temple priest who woke him in the morning which had dawned sunny and bright.

Pyarelal walked around the temple preparing to jump into the lake when he noticed that the water level had considerably reduced, and visible right in the middle of the river was the top of a black submerged object. He suddenly noticed that the skies were clear blue and hope sprung in the deep dark recesses of his soul. Excitedly, he jumped into the lake and swam to the middle. He dove under the water to inspect the submerged object and found to his unbounded delight and amusement that it was indeed his lost autorikshaw!

With the help of a considerate and kind-hearted manager at the quarry, he managed to get a crane to pull out his autorikshaw. With the little money he had managed to accrue while working at the quarry, he got it repaired. The mechanic reported with great amusement that the auto's engine had started at the very first attempt to crank it after he had serviced it.

"You must be a very lucky man!" cried out the mechanic.

"Only until the next monsoons my brother, only until the next barsaat!" replied Pyarelal in a resigned manner,

How to Survive if Machines Take Over the World

2010-04-25T19:08:00.002+05:30

Most of us are familiar with the concept of genes, which are basically strands of molecules which try really hard to replicate and, if possible, to suppress the competing genes of competing specie. Now apply the same theory of natural selection and evolution to ideas or "memes" (a term coined by Richard Dawkins in his book “The Selfish Gene”). There are innumerable memes doing the rounds. They require human minds for their very existence and they replicate themselves throughout the population. Religion is a prime example of a virulent meme which replicates itself. There are many other examples, such as the ipod culture, or anti-semitism during Hitler's reign.

Today, with the rapid advance in science and technology, we are experiencing a golden period in terms of the tech solutions to the problems ailing us and society. Technological ideas and applications are termed as temes (a term that was first used by Susan Blackmore at the February 2008 TED conference).

Temes and memes are transmitted through language (spoken, written, or mathematical) and their very existence depends on the existence of humans. They replicate themselves, but only the best survive, very much like the process of natural selection in the natural world where the useless genes or the bad genes are discarded and evolution proceeds by selecting the strongest and the fittest.

Though temes right now require human minds to dwell in, the day is not far off when temes will be able to exist , develop and replicate without requiring human hosts at all. This will be made possible by artificial intelligence. In fact, the limbic system of a rat has been built artificially with modern computing systems. It is quite within our capabilities to be able to develop artificial intelligence such that it exceeds the performance of the human brain.

When that happens, temes would be able to survive in silicon processors and magnetic memory storage devices. I'm not predicting some “matrix” style doomsday scenario here, I am just saying that today, we are the dominant species on the planet and we disregard the rights of all other specie. We wipe out those that cause problems to us, and many specie have gone extinct due to the environmental damage that we have wreaked. We didn't do it intentionally, it just so happened that we needed food, so forests had to be replaced with monoculture, we needed metals, so mines had to be dug and so on. This is what is popularly known as “collateral damage”. Similarly, temes too would treat us with equal disregard once they are free of their dependence on us. Just like how genes do not care about competing genes if they are unimportant to their own survival (the case in point being the collateral damage that we have caused to innumerable specie in our quest to improve our own living conditions) temes too would not care about any of the organisms present here on our planet, unless they need the life-forms for some purpose.

This is not entirely such a bad situation. After all, the technology created by humans would have many human characteristics. The single most important factor that defines the identity of humans is the brain and the self awareness generated within it. So, it logically follows that humans will live on in the form of temes and technology as technology is nothing but the product of the human brain.

Another very probable scenario is if humans merge seamlessly with technology making one indistinguishable from the other. Artificial body parts today make it possible for the deaf to hear, the blind to see and the limbless to run. Soon, these parts would outstrip the performance of natural organic parts, because machines evolve exponentially faster than biological organisms. The blind will then be able to see in any spectrum that they wish to see in, the deaf would then be able to hear any frequency, the paraplegics would be able to run faster than automobiles.

We are all part of the technological tsunami, and we ought to be thankful that we shall witness probably within our lifetimes the dawn of the machine and the AI era.

The Holy Rabbit

2010-04-13T15:52:00.000+05:30

The reason why most humans are complaining about how fucked up the rest of humanity is because of the holy rabbit.

Yes, you heard me right. I know that most people are aware of the holy cow, "but what the heck is the holy rabbit?" I can hear you say...

Well, it is a cross between the "Godmen" and the politicians, a species that is found in most countries. The holy rabbit eats most of the crops of the farmers who believe that feeding it will help them reap better crops (probably due to its holiness). The acid generating worms in its intestines then go to work and digest the potatoes and grains which the rabbit then ejects from both ends of its body.

The shit comes out all putrified and smelly causing awesome pollution of the naive farmer's fields, making the soil unfit for growing any more potatoes. This usually makes the KFC dude super pissed, and he goes off to the rabbit to complain. The rabbit then forces the farmers to grow more potatoes so that the KFC dude can make more french fries. (By the way, this is a true story, and I've seen it happen in many countries in an almost similar manner as the manner in which this story goes...)

The farmer is then forced to use super powerful fertilizers and is forced to demolish his house so that a dam can be built which will then supply the fertilizer factory with power and the farmer with water throughout the year so that he can grow enough potatoes for the KFC dude.

Meanwhile, the holy rabbit spews out the acidic remains of the digested potatoes which then burns holes into the fabric of society which becomes tattered and ragged by the time the rabbit is done with its dinner.

The rains have failed too, and the dams have made the soil salty, true to the spirit of the founding father who envisioned salt for all Indians without the burden of taxes. The farmer with a broken back goes to plead with the rabbit, who then tells him to sell all his grain to the rabbit and the rabbit will make sure that everyone gets enough grain at low rates.

Hence, the public distribution system was born which ensured that all rabbits on the continent were fat enough to look cute and cuddly. Very soon, the continent was full of rabbits and no farmers. All the fields were swallowed by the forests, for there was no one to till the land. The hyenas and the jackals roamed freely and preyed upon the rotund rabbits.

I hope that all of you have learnt a lesson: "DO NOT READ RANDOM RAMBLINGS! THE BLOODY GUY JUST GOES ON AND ON, AND ON...... AND ON........"

The Terror Job

2010-03-04T03:44:00.000+05:30

A middle aged man carrying a large suitcase sat beside Manish and unfolded a newspaper which he started reading aloud much to Manish's annoyance. Manish looked to his left and clicked his tongue in a bid to air his adverse opinions on the stranger's manners. Manish casually noticed that the man was a Muslim and had the typical Islamic beard and cap. Manish looked away as his brain launched along a tangent as he thought about how he would have hardly paid attention to the man's Islamic appearance had the environment of the world not been as polarised and fissured.

Manish had come to Jalandhar a month ago along with thirty of his most skilled pile workers. He had been to Jalandhar a year ago on the very same assignment, however due to bureaucratic reasons, the project at a railway crossing had been delayed indefinitely. This time though, he was able to successfully start working on the pile foundations.

Having set things in motion, he had decided to return to his headquarters in Mumbai entrusting the reins of the project in the able hands of his employees.

As he sat waiting for the Golden Temple Mail which would take him to Mumbai in no less than thirty two hours he pensively nibbled on his Pooris and read his magazine which featured the Pune, German Bakery blasts as its cover story. The increased police presence in the station too became suddenly conspicuously noticeable to Manish.

Manish had been born and brought up in Gopalganj, Bihar and had loved the inclusive culture of Mumbai when he had first moved there to work for a contractor. But over the years, his heart bled profusely as he witnessed the raping of Mumbai by the communal forces and the chauvinists; and as if that were not enough, terrorism too was part of the equation which made the public spaces of his once favourite city a formidable place causing him much anxiety.

The moment Manish made eye contact with the stranger beside him, his mind associated his external appearance with that of a terrorist; though the thought had been momentary and had just flitted across his mind, Manish chided himself for having displayed as much narrow mindedness as the very chauvinists whom he hated.

Manish's reverie was broken when he heard the man muttering something under his breath. It sounded like Arabic chanting and had the word “Allah” in it aplenty. Manish assumed that the man was probably performing the Namaz.

A few minutes later, the man opened his newspaper and started muttering under his breath once again which gradually became louder.

Manish could now make out that the man was not simply reading the articles aloud, he was in fact commenting on them in Hindi interspersed with Urdu.

Manish soon became anxious when he realized that the man was muttering expletives feverishly at the Indian state and was praising and glorifying the acts of the Pune bombers as valorous acts. Manish looked to his left to find the man breathless with flared nostrils and fluttering eyelids. The man looked at Manish full in the face with bloodshot eyes.

The man made a sudden movement with his right hand and caught hold of Manish's elbow with a powerful grip, his fingers digging into the flesh; Manish could taste bile in his throat. The man held a finger to his lips and said in hindi, “If you want to live, then maintain a deathly silence!”.

A train had just pulled into the platform and a huge number of people were detraining, embarking or quarelling over petty matters which are bound to arise in an environment such as is observed in India's railway stations.

The man introduced himself as Ajmal Dawood and pointed to his large suitcase with a smirk on his face. He held up his left hand which held a mobile phone. He dramatically pretended to press a button of his phone and then brought both his hands together and let them fly apart mimicking an explosion.

The implications were clear to Manish who had by then started to sweat profusely even though the weather was slightly chilly. The man asked for Manish's name to which Manish managed to reply with a gagging sound, his epiglottis seemed to have gotten jammed.

Ajmal rubbed his hand along Manish's back and tried to calm him. He repeated his question. Manish's limbic system which had been madly pumping adrenaline into his system suddenly kicked into action and turned its formidable resources towards ordering Manish's limbs to flee as fast as was physically possible.

Manish's limbs were burning, his heart was thumping and his ears could literally hear the pulse of the blood vessels running up to the brain. Barely had Manish begun running when the man claiming to be Ajmal Dawood ripped off his fake beard and his cap which he threw to a thickset man nearby, after which he jumped off his seat and began chasing Manish while shouting “Chor! Chor!” (“Thief! Thief!”) at the top of his voice.

The thickset man picked up the large suitcase and Manish's shoulder bag which he had left behind in his frantic bid for an escape.

A group of coolies, alerted by Ajmal's screaming blocked Manish and a few moments later, Ajmal had him by his collar. He began to kick Manish and rip apart his clothes, Manish who was still under the spell of the “FLEE!” command of his limbic system tried to escape. Manish was barely aware of the fact that he was being beaten up.

Ajmal had deftly managed to remove Manish's wallet from his pocket within a few seconds after which he stepped back.

The coolies who had been silent spectators initially were convinced of Manish's guilt when they saw him attempting to flee which made them join Ajmal in administering blows.

Ajmal- the petty thief managed to break away from the crowd in the ensuing confusion and nobody noticed him as he ran across the tracks into the city along with his thickset accomplice probably to pull another con job before retiring for the day.

Has?

2010-02-13T03:16:00.000+05:30

Has the River ever told the raincloud of its love?

Has the Wind ever told the ocean of its love
as it blows on by creating ripples on the surface?

Have the Trees confessed of their affection
to the honey-gold orb of warmth and care?

Has Gaia confessed her undying devotion
to the center of her orbit?

Has the Soil ever whispered loving words
to the farmer's drops of salty beads of sweat
as they kiss the ground with a splash?

Has the dolphin ever confessed its love
to the salty glistening spray of sea water
as it somersaults out of the water?

Has the parched and ignorant mind ever
whispered sweet nothings to the first drops of wisdom
as they trickle in through the senses?

Has the ascetic monk ever seen through
the veil of religion to realize her love for God?

Has the Heat of passion ever sung paeans
of their love for the warmth and comfort of Love?

Huck, Me and Arjun- Chapter 1

2009-12-29T18:16:00.001+05:30

Chapter-1
The Beginning

Huck Finn had always been a very good friend of mine, sort of a chamcha who looked up to me and my brother as we went about our adventures. He was a first rate fellow, let me tell you that, but the only thing that irked me about him was the manner in which he would carry on about Tom Sawyer, and how we would never be able to live up to his reputation.

If we were to embark on a grand adventure to set off the alarms in all the cars parked on our street, he would tag along and have a super duper time, but would hardly pitch in and help us out. There was no satisfying him! “Tom Sawyer would'a dunn it this'a way” or “Tom Sawyer would nair let a dog scare 'im off, I can tell u that. I Injun swear it tha he woulda got that car alarm to not only shriek but to sing all the sonnets and remix versions of Khaike Paan Benares Waala!”.

Pretty soon, my brother and I would see it fit to rain whoop ass on him, but he would simply smile and take it all saying that “Tom Sawyer woulda made me ache in two score diff'ent places than the two 'o you managed ta”. There was simply no pleasing that guy!

If you were to ask me how Huck Finn came to be with us, I would have to tell you to go ask a witch or one of the priests in the Ganesha temple down the street, for I have as much a clue as one of them astrologers have after carefully looking at a plate of beetle nuts.

It was one hot summer when me and my brother were in Chennai at my grandparents'. We had just finished yet another tome of Twain's and were looking for some adventure, but Paati wouldn't let us go out into the sultry heat. While Arjun and I- Arjun of course is my brother- were cursing our blamed luck and were wondering what Tom Sawyer would have done in this pickle, along came Huck out of nowhere and told us to sneak out like an Injun. Yes, he just came along out of nowhere and told us exactly what Tom Sawyer would have done: “He woulda gone out Injun style and gathered his horsemen and rode of to war against the Yahootee tribe, thas wha he woulda dunn, so wha you two louts still waitin for? Get a goin!”. With Huck Finn's able guidance, we were able to sneak out under my granny's not so watchful eyes, but Huck made it out to be like we were raiding a castle and were sneaking out with the loot, and my snoring granny was the dragon guarding the precious treasure, the peerless Haaji's diamond! He wouldn't let us slink away without nicking my granny's reading glasses from right of her nose, making them out to be the diamonds!

Needless to say, Huck Finn had most of the fun that day, while me and my brother were lumbering under the weight of guilty consciences. He made us borrow my grandfather's scooter and wouldn't let us start it with the key. He forced us to hot wire it like they did in the movies, though that didn't work and we simply ended up switching the headlight's switch with that for the horn, so he made us imagine that we had hot wired it and let us use the keys to start it up. “Tom Sawyer woulda had this horse whinnying away to glory in no time, you two greenhorns are goin to haff ta learn fas, or you will ne'er have half as much adventure as Sid Sawyer!”, so saying he started up the scooter and made me race it around town scaring old men walking along the street and making a huge ruckus with the croaky horn behind the temple elephant waking him from his slumber, which caused his mahout a whole lot of trouble.

That night, when we got home, we were given one hell of a beating. Our parents were on the phone the next minute asking us to return home- which by the way is in Bangalore- and my granny was all teared up and making a fuss over Arjun, but nobody said a word to Huck, he got away with it clean as a whistle! The police inspector who was a friend of thaatha's was at home, he told my paati not to worry him over such trifles in the future and gave us a glare that could have melted the entire Arctic before the methane and carbon do it eventually. We were mighty pissed off after that and refused to talk to Huck, but he just made faces at us, that infernal brat and called us girls' names.
“My Pa woulda bin ashamed of tha lickin, his philosophy in life is to lick a boy till ya can see he is an inch from Death's grubby paws, and here you two are goin on abou tha beatin tha a girl coulda tooked without grimacin!” taunted Huck.

The long and short of it is that Huck stayed with us the rest of our lives to mentor us in the ways of the pirates and highway men. I began this chronicle to make the truth universally known, because not many people know that Huck Finn played a major part in many of the 'adventures' that Arjun and I got into; and in case you are wondering, my name is Advaita, and I'm all grown up now, so I'm no more afraid of getting scolded, so I am going to come out with my whole story on this blog. Keep reading this blog and I'll regularly post our stories. Of course, I also want to thank Adi for lending me space on his blog, and Mark Twain for creating Huck Finn, for without his guidance and mentoring and constant taunts, we would never have had “half as much adventure as Sid Sawyer”!

2009-12-21T13:27:00.000+05:30

The following is an article found in a magazine that is wildly popular throughout the galaxy, though not so much on Earth... I went to great pains to translate this article, hope you enjoy reading it...

A planet situated at the very edge of the spiral arm of the Milky Way, was once dominated by a bipedal species which thought of itself as having originated through divine means. The chimps and gorillas who knew better always had a good laugh when they saw these creatures.

However, the situation rapidly deteriorated into something that the other wiser organisms couldn't laugh about any more. Humans continued to be their smug selves with major superiority complexes. At one point, some of them realized that they were literally raping their mother, Earth. When they spoke about it in public, others hushed them; incest wasn't something that their society allowed them to talk about openly, especially when everyone was doing it.

Oedipus complex aside, many of them thought that they had the right to do as they pleased, because after all, they had been made in the image of God!

When their world leaders gathered together to discuss matters such as dangerous weapons being amassed and the pollution of valuable resources which could effectively make the planet unsuitable for habitation, they ended up arguing about who was responsible for the state of affairs, and who ought to clean it up.

Apart from their utter disregard for the life forms that co-habited their incredibly bio-diverse planet, they also displayed extreme nausea towards others of their own species who chose to think differently. What the majority ordained would become the norm, so much so that in some cultures, it was acceptable to terminate the life of infants if the gender of the infant was female (for further details, see pg 1,380,567 of the detailed analysis of the human race). Further, their irrational imaginary skills made many believe that theirs was the "chosen" race, much like the Brazorgans of the 311AG68 sector who were captured and quarantined by the Galaxy Pre-emptive Strike Organisation. Individuals subscribing to a certain religious ideology would preach "universal love", "forgiveness" and "brotherhood" amongst themselves, but would display extreme intolerance when in the presence of other individuals of a different religion.

Many wars were waged throughout the world due to the irrational ideology preached by innumerable pontiffs that their ideology was the only Truth, and all others must be silenced by any means!

The first instance of contact between us and them was on 1EE-560-6700 when a remote outpost of the Galactic Navy was seized by a "scientific expedition" of the Earthlings. This scientific expedition consisted of more military personnel than researchers. The outpost at first did not retaliate and attempted to make contact with the Earthlings. Soon, 20,000 years later, talks broke down, and no diplomatic solution was within sight. The Earthlings refused to give up their unsustainable methods, and had ruined a few thousand planets making them impossible to inhabit for the next 3 millennia.

Which is why the Galactic Administration has decided to assign the Earthlings to the same fate as the Brazorgans. This article has been published at the specific request of the Galactic Administration which needs your endorsement to carry forward the "Earthlings Reassignment Act". Kindly exercise your franchise on 21EE-309-1099 at a polling booth in your respective home sectors and help rid the galaxy of the menacing influence of the Earthlings.

This might have floated in through a wormhole as it appears to have been written many millennia in the future. Well, at least this means that there is hope for our species yet. We now know that we shall at least survive a couple of million years.

People-4

2009-12-06T14:58:00.000+05:30

In continuation of my "People" series, I present here an interview of my brother. Thank you bro for taking time out of your busy schedule to answer these questions, and I wish you all the very best with your exams.

Q1) Define yourself.

Defining a person is pretty hard, but i'll try my best. The first thing that people generally remark about me when we become friends is that i have an inferiority complex. I agree, no point arguing with so many people. I have this notion that however hard one tries to perfect something, somewhere in some corner of the world, there will be someone who can do it better. So i work for myself and myself alone. Call me selfish, but thats how i work.
I make friends very slowly, something i don't actually like about me. But once i do make friends i end up trusting those people a lot. Thats it i think..

Q2) You are about to outgrow your teenage years. What are your feelings on that front, how were your teenage years and what are you looking forward to now?

There's this one opinion i have. Each person grows at their own rate, mentally or physically. So although one does outgrow his childhood at some point, it remains to be seen if that someone has become an adult. Each person has their own span of teenage-hood and that could extend upto any point in their life. My teenage years were great. I feel i kept pace with my physical age by growing up with it :D
I'm looking forward to the usual, car and bike license and so on. But there's one thing i can't wait for. to vote!! i follow politics quite closely although i prefer not taking any sides. I feel responsible now, and i want to learn more about the world and how it works (you have no idea how hard it is to get a banker's cheque)

Q3) As a younger sibling, do you feel that life might have been different had you been the older one?

Definitely. Being the older sibling requires one to display a greater maturity. I've never stuck up for any one, or tried solving any one's problems. But you've done that for me, and having that sort of common sense and maturity is quite different. Although life may not have been drastically different, it definitely would have been.

Q4) What are your feelings now that you are at the crossroads of your life? (I mean the 12th board exams et al)

Ah. I have to admit i'm quite nervous already. The sort of competition for higher education is insane. My exams just got over, and that has given me some slight confidence because i feel i have done reasonably well, although results are yet to come out. It eventually comes down to the board exams i think. Everything that has happened doesn't count. Just that one exam is going to predict what is to come. Freaky!

Q5) Do you know clearly what it is that you want out of life? What is going to be your career choice?

I haven't made any choices yet. Thats something i like about myself. I don't actually despise anything, i see that in myself everyday. Movies which everyone else hate, i would've watched it twice. The same is the case with my higher studies. I like everything i have seen till now. Law, Engineering, Pure Science, Journalism, Business studies (though that is practically ruled out) and so on. Right now though, i feel it comes down to the first three, and more importantly the first. That is an added advantage considering the amount of competition. I won't be overly disappointed if i do not get some course.

Yellow

2009-11-18T21:49:00.000+05:30

What is your family name cried out the yellow faces with green eyes

What is your heritage and ancestry... do you know anyone with a crown?

With derision they buried the young lad who answered thus

I am what I am as I stand before you now, do not question me of my past

for i have none to speak of... i know not anyone with a crown

My purpose is to remove the veil of darkness and the thorns of prejudice

outside the mob awaited the shrunken yellow men bent with age

Peace! I demand silence! Listen for the wise men have filed out onto their balcony

Withered hands they raised to wave at their wagging minions

Yellow pride flowed through their conceited veins causing a yellow glow on their cheeks

That man is not to be trusted, he is of low birth and unknown ancestry- cried out the wise

He conspires to steal your adulation for your elders, for he is evil and of inferior birth

The wagging minions stole furtive glances at each other, and raised a blood curdling cry

We shall sally forth and destroy this evil you speak of O wise ones!

No! Don't you see they are using you- cried out the young man with the halo

I may not look like you, but I love you the same as my brothers, let us have peace.

The mob rushed at him armed with prejudice and blind hatred

Manipulated brains festering within their craniums, blood thirsty red eyes watering with rage

The young man lay on the ground mortally wounded, he staggered up to his feet

He caught the nearest man who raised an arm to beat him to the ground again

He kissed him with a loving smile, that of a mother who chides her erring child with loving care

His second fall to the ground seemed to stretch through aeons...

The man with the raised hand had a single tear in his clear blue eyes

Clear blue eyes that could see for the first time...

Dreams Soiled

2009-11-15T11:24:00.002+05:30

Nourishing, caring mother, I kiss you
Today I bid you goodbye against my will
For they shall come in their machines black
My only mother that I had known since birth
Selfless and caring, with bounteous plenty
Today I must leave you for they have come
They who sit in palatial offices have decided
They who eat what me and my brethren milked
The land that my grandfather had ploughed
now belongs to a fat man in fine silks
He intends to produce automobiles aplenty
and sell them to others who have eaten my harvest
I have but a few pieces of useless paper in my hand
and the pieces of my futile, shattered life
Hope, dope or rope is what I ask myself now...

This poem is with reference to the present crisis, the Maoist problem facing the state of India. I believe that though industrialism and a robust economy is the solution to poverty, we have an extremely inequitable society today in India. Non-inclusive growth and the pandering of the politicians to the industrialists who are interested in only the bottomline of their balance sheets are the main reasons behind the disillusioned millions in the rural hinterlands of India.

The armed resistance of the maoists is also in my opinion, not the solution. The need of the hour is the infusion of responsible politicians and industrialists into the system. More people must realize that whatever it is that they are doing, if done effectively and efficiently, it will be their contribution towards the development of society.

Evolution- The Theory of Life and Pink Poodle Hell!

2009-10-08T23:26:00.005+05:30

Guys, this is a scary revelation that a friend and I came up with. I’m going to share it with you now, but remember: if any suspicious looking men come ask you funny questions about my identity, DO NOT REVEAL IT!

So there we were, standing outside our mess (mess as in a mess wherein food is served, we were not standing in/outside our own mess) after having had some truly delicious food for dinner. In fact, the mess committee had been spurred into action as soon as they took charge this semester as most people had found the food to be lousy and the mess secretary had received a few death threats even before he could take charge!

The above mentioned mess committee immediately took it upon itself to improve the quality of the food in the mess. They tried to purchase tastier vegetables and other stuff, but were stopped in their tracks by the budget constraints. Then one brilliant and fat member of the mess committee came up with a foolproof method of improving the nutrient content of the food without any added cost to the mess. He simply went in and switched off the insect zapping devices and soon the food placed on the tables were nourished with a rich content of succulent insects. I even saw the entire life cycle of one brown and long stick like insect during one meal. It wriggled out of its cocoon and in a frenzy it copulated with a female with such urgency it seemed it had only two more minutes to live. The female immediately released a huge number of eggs and two minutes later both were dead.

Coming back to the point, the discussion that my friend and I had on that night was triggered by the high insect population in the mess. It had set me thinking about Life, the Universe and Everything Else. No, not the book- I had actually begun to contemplate the great mystery behind evolution. I had just realized something so very basic and important. If some dumb insects can in a single day adapt their entire life cycle to take advantage of the switched off insect zapper, then doesn’t it show how versatile insects are, dumb though they remain. In fact, looking at the efficiency with which they have spread throughout the planet, and the rapidity with which they are able to evolve and adapt, it leaves no doubt that they are indeed much better in terms of the “survival of the species”.

If you consider unicellular organisms, they too are much more efficient at reproducing and surviving harsh conditions as compared to us humans. Hence the question must be asked that in what way has evolution improved life in general? The obvious answer is that life has gotten more complex and intelligent.
And it is the intelligence which has really proved to be an asset to our species which has gained undisputable hegemony over the rest of the organisms on this planet.

So, we may safely conclude that evolution has taken the direction that it took to establish greater amount of intelligence. Even organisms which are lower than us on the evolutionary ladder are quite intelligent.

So, do you now see this great secret that my friend and I unlocked? Evolution, or the spirit of Gaia wants you to get more intelligent, and become more self conscious and self aware and then give back to society, because otherwise, Darwin’s theory says that you will go to Darwin’s Hell. And believe me when I say this: you DO NOT want to go there! Everyone there is born as one breed of dog and then you are made to evolve into other breeds by Satan and his minions. You may think that it may be entertaining or amusing, but it is NOT. Imagine being transformed from a huge fire breathing husky into a pink poodle with poof ball ears and all! It is horrible.

So my friend, the only way out for you is to go start becoming more intelligent and self aware. For all my friends out there who have a tendency to “fly” now and then, I would like to tell you that that does indeed count as increasing your self-awareness and that you guys are on the right track to Darwin’s Heaven… but more on that later, until then, keep getting more intelligent and have as much fun as you can while you are at it!

People-3

2009-09-07T20:22:00.002+05:30

This is the interview of my mom...

Q1) How would you define yourself?

Defining myself - very easy. simple quiet and basically background kind of person not out of modesty but I have not much choice with my limited knowledge.

Q2) You are a very religious person, what started this off?

Religious ? I don't know. I am not religious in the strict sense. I take what I like and believe in it.

I should thank my maternal grandfather for initiating me into religion when I was quite young ,say between seven to thirteen years of age. I have seen him performing pooja, helped him sometimes but above all it's the daily trip to temple in his company that stands out in my memory.

During summer holidays grandpa used to take all his grandchildren ( about 4 or five of us) to kapaleeswara temple in mylapore every evening. Most of the time I was the only girl in the group unless some of my cousins joined. There used to be a small library in the temple(I am not sure if it exists even now) which had a good collection of books based on religion.

Grandpa knew that I was a responsible child and so he would allow me to be in the library till sayaratchai pooja (evening pooja) for he had to keep an eye on the boys who loved to run and play. Once the bell of this puja is heard I was told by him to reach the main temple mantapa(hall). In that library I was introduced to many stories of people devoted to religion which might have initiated me into this path.

Later I was caught up with studies and career the fire was just a spark.
Post marriage in the company of your Appa, also a religious person himself my faith was revived and gained momentum. I should thank both you boys who have supported us for in many households of my friends I have seen constant confrontations between parents and children on this issue.

Q3) What do you think today's explosive religious environment is due to?

Today religion is perceived multi-dimensionally with each one trying to exploit the deeply ingrained faith. Religion to me is not just chanting prayers, visiting the places of worship, I would say if you see a well finished job i'd call it done religiously.

Religion is basically discipline and faith from within. Only when I have doubts in what I believe in I'd indulge in comparing, mud-slinging and so on. Today's religious environment is nothing new.

If you look up history religion has been used time and again as a tool to gain power. It's when someone claims ownership to religion then trouble starts limiting it to within certain boundaries. Can anyone claim ownership to the sun, the moon and the stars or anything in this universe for that matter. I feel many of us confuse our social obligations with religious faith which results in total chaos.

(Very well said Ma!)

Q4) As a young person, what were your aims in life? How have these changed as you matured?

My aim........ I am not sure for when I was young, the general trend was to graduate, maybe land a decent job and then get married and settle down. Maybe the general scenario has'nt changed much for almost in all the movies and serials the purpose of the very existence of women is projected as though they are born only to attract men and start to live with them. But i had a dream , yes, a dream of becoming an IAS officer.

Q5) What are your thoughts about the status of women in India today?

In the urban regions, the trend is changing. I see women pursuing their dreams, living life according to their terms. But the casualties of this trend is also rising, a major one is that of rise in number of divorces. Divorce ,per se, I am not against, but when it touches the lives of children then it becomes an issue does'nt it? Another casualty is, there is rise in number of old single women who are in need of care and protection. Since they have been independent always they are not happy in staying in care homes, hence they have to live a life of loneliness in their old age.

Q6) Where do you think that religion ends and blind madness begins? How should people be sensitised to the dangers of the fake Godmen/women?

Good question. If we consider godmen/women as social workers then most of our animosities towards them will die down. Anyway most of today's godmen are social workers only. Don't we hear about mismanagement and ill-treatment meted out to inmates in some of the homes/institutes run by either the Govt. or NGOs? There are only very few dedicated religious leaders who belong to traditional institutions and who do not cross their traditional limits. Not everybody can be a leader and people are always looking up to others to be led and these are the ones who fall victim to false motivated beliefs. As long as there are gullible people, the deceivers also will continue to be active. It's the law of physics - did'nt you learn it in school?

Well Ma, I know I'm no one to judge, but I just have to say this: I don't think I know a more level headed person than you. You are able to see many things in perspective and get the global picture, nice right brain you've got going there...

People- 2

2009-09-06T13:04:00.002+05:30

This is the interview of a good friend of mine. She however said she would kill me if I revealed her identity on the blog, and as I truly fear for my life, I shall not do so. Though for those who already know her, simply reading the questions and answers will reveal her identity... Thank you dear friend for taking so much time out for answering all these questions...

My Friend: "Ok... so... time to dive into the Q&As. This is so weird. I am usually the one doing the interviewing for my newspaper job."

Q1) If one asked you to define yourself, how would you go about doing it? (If you are going to use the word "Goonkie", then you have to also give the full meaning here... :=) )

I would describe myself as a goonkie (you are right... you caught me!) But now maybe I should elaborate on that. I think I would define a goonkie as someone like one of those perpetual motion machines - constantly seeking equilibrium. Someone confused and easygoing but with good intentions. Of course, with a person of that character, the definition of goonkie is also subject to change so that is why I always say, "You just know if you are a goonkie or not. Its not exactly definable."

Q2) As a girl, did you feel like things were unfairly going against you at any point in your life? If so, then when, where, how and why?

Fortunately I have never had to face any discrimination because of my gender and even if I did, I probably didn't notice. I have felt indignant and angry on behalf of other women many times but never had to for myself.

Q3) You have been around the world, what were your experiences? How did you adapt yourself to your new surroundings?

Ok... so this is a very broad question... Travelling to different places is very different from living there because as a tourist, you are allowed, no actually, encouraged to stand out. I can't really say how I adapted to different surroundings because that differed each time. The one thing I always have to do, whether living there or just being a tourist is get a map - I am a compulsive navigator. It almost becomes a quest for hidden treasure or something. I hate being wrong while map reading, I hate asking for directions (I'm worse than a guy that way) and I hate not being able to walk or take public transport.

Q4) What is your most treasured memory? Walk us through it...

O...K.. THis is another tough question. I have way too many fantastic memories. One of them definitely has to be Sports Day Closing Ceremony. I remember that as if it were yesterday - pulling down the flags in the rain, and slowmarching forward together to the strains of Abide with Me, with the rain pouring down so hard. I have a confession to make: I was actually crying, weeping at that moment. We were all wet anyway, raindrops were dripping down our faces mingling with tears. It was one of those, "No one will notice if you cry in this rain, so you can actually be a little weak girl and cry now!" kinda moments.

Q5) Give me an insight into the extremely active child component in your mental make up... What sort of changes has this part of your character experienced over the years?

hahahaha... I think its still very much alive and well. I think what usually happens to people when they grow up is that this part gets disillusioned during college life and goes through its adolescence as well and slowly grows up. Whereas in my case, I went to college with people who were much older than I was, so I became kinds schizophrenic - sometimes being very grown up and other times being a child and constantly trying to find a balance. It usually never comes out for the big things but little things - like when I was travelling in S.E. Asia last year with my friends, I got super-excited when I saw one of those small paper cocktail umbrellas in a smoothie store in Singapore. I got so excited in fact that I had to buy myself a smoothie just so I could have the umbrella and took pictures with it all day long. Small pleasures like that are just unbeatable - a paper cocktail umbrella, jumping in puddles, playing with balloons, eating ice cream and dripping it all down the front of your clothes. sigh...

Q6) As a girl in India, did you feel like there were certain problems with the way society expects women to fall into stereotypes? Do you think that it is any different in the other cultures that you have been a part of?

I think every society has a stereotype of women. That is necessary because without stereotypes people would go mad trying to deal with the diversity. Everyone needs to compartmentalize thoughts in someway. Its funny because I was just talking about this with a friend of mine (you won't believe how long this mail has taken in preparation). My friend is actually exploring the concept of feminism for her poltical science studies right now and we were talking about it during lunch. She is originally from Congo but has grown up in France and Denmark and other parts of continental Europe - so she understands the problem of the stereotypes of women similar to what we have in India but also understands the Scandinavian way - where there is a less of a gender divide, where women tend to behave less feminine and men behave more feminine to make up that gap - so everyone becomes kind of androgynous.

We agreed that these stereotypes of women were actually quite universal. Women, everywhere, are considered the primary care givers in a family, and even in Scandinavia, women still do fulfill that role. Basically, we felt that these stereotypes were merely a result of societal expectations - expectations that arose from a practice of supression from almost pre-historic times when women, being the weaker sex, did actually depend on men to protect them. We were trying to trace back the origin of this practice and we reached the conclusion that it is sort of like a 'which came first - the chicken or the egg' argument... For example, were women being oppressed and subdued into being the primary care givers by men, who in turn felt it was their right to exert their power over women OR did women accept the role of being the primary care givers to make life easier for men who protected them...

I guess this was a far more convulted answer than you were expecting. Its just that I was stuck on this question today morning and then at lunch we had this huge conversation and so I couldn't help giving you the highlights. Sowwy.. *gives sheepish look*

Q7) With skewed sex ratios in many parts of India, it must be extremely aggravating for a freethinking girl like you... what are your comments on this situation? How can change be brought about?
Firstly, thanks for calling me freethinking. That's pretty cool.. :P I think in a lot of cases, women are themselves responsible for these skewed sex ratios. Some of the most chauvinistic people I have ever met are women. And yes, that does make me very mad because I just feel this leads to a lot of senseless waste of time, energy, resources and often, even a waste of life.

Secondly, and perhaps what I loathe the most about the situation is the hypocrisy. In general, all Indians, naturally, are born with the ability to cope with paradoxes on a daily basis that most Westeners cannot understand. This can be a great source of pride but it can also be a source of disappointment because this very same ability enables us to turn a blind eye to all the hypocrisy in Indian society. For example, have you ever noticed that the most religiously chauvanistic men are the biggest devotees of Lakshmi, or Durga, or Kali or any other goddess? How are we so comfortable with this?!?!

I don't know how change can be brought about - I wish I did. I think a lot has to with economic well-being. The moment people are economically well-off, they demand an education for their children and this education leads to an enlightened future generation who will have the opportunity to be even better off and lead to more awareness. I think its something that needs to start at a young age - something that should start in school. I wish I had a more detailed plan but I don't know enough. I mean, these are just the rantings of an ignorant but opinionated fool that can mean nothing without a more specific context or scenario.

Q8) Tell me about music in your life. What sort of a role does it play in your life day in and day out?
hahaha.. Again, another question that is so vast I cannot even begin to think of how to answer it. Maybe I should start at the beginning. I love music - it makes me happy and I love all kinds of music (with, possibly, the exception of some heavy metal, but you never know with me). My iPod is filled with the most random music from the most random parts of the world. When I hear music I like, I tend to get obsessed about it and cannot function until I have heard it a million times. Its almost a necessity - its like breathing. I need to have music.

The first ever memory of musical obsession I have dates all the way back to when I was 3. We used to live in Bombay at the time, in Bandra, and our house was really close to this big school ground where they used to host weddings. During that time, there was a song called 'Didi' by this Arabic artist Khaled that was on top of the charts and so it would inevitably land up being played at all the wedding parties. I would stay up late at night, way past my bed time listening at the window everytime there was a wedding there, in the hope that I would hear it. My parents gave up trying to get me to go to bed on those days because I couldn't budge. And even now, for some strange reason, I still love the song.

Or the time in 10th standard, during the boards, when I was haunted by this Japanese song that I had heard a snippet of while channel surfing. It drove me mad - I almost screwed up my boards because I had to keep hunting for that song. Or the day I heard the soundtrack for the Lord of the Rings and spent hours locked up in my room pretending I was a conductor, conducting my stereo system with a hairbrush. hahaha...

The other thing I love about music is the way it forms connections in my memories so much so that I end up linking people to songs. For example, I link you to that Aasma song, Tumse hi Pyaar because of how you and Yao mangled the Hindi words during music competition practice to annoy Pri. I also remember you with Annie's Song. I link Yao to A Tout Le Monde and Blood Brothers because he would constantly try to make me play those on my violin. I link Baba to the song Plaisir d'Amour (which Rodrigues sang for one Music Competition) because I spent almost an entire hour trying to give him the correct French pronunciation. My favourites though, are songs I have danced to with people. Basically, when I hear those tunes, its like the memory of those moments plays in my head with that song as a soundtrack.

Q9) What do you think about love? Have you ever been in love?
I don't know about love. I firmly believe that people as young as 16 or 17 cannot ever experience true love. However, since its me, and I hate ever having an extreme opinion about anything, this firm belief does tend to waiver a bit. ;)

I don't know if I have ever been in love. Do you know that? How does one know? I know we all laughed at Sid when he went around in 12th asking the whole class, "What a crush was? And if we thought he had a crush on Ron?" but the man does have a point... How does one know these things? Maybe it like happiness or anger, people don't need teach you what they are for you to feel it but then again, maybe its not like that... Who knows?

Q10) Tell me something about your family...

My family... is my life. I would be lost without them. Its interesting how when you grow older you begin to see you family in a different light - you see your parents as human, not perfect and you see your siblings for the adults they grow up to become. My folks are nuts though, like all good parents and siblings. My Dad is a workaholic and the most practically idealistic person I have ever known, my Mum is an incurably efficient multitasker and resident tower of strength and my brother is the world's greatest bookworm and general all-round troubleshooter. Put all these people in a house together and you have organized chaos...

People- 1

2009-09-06T12:41:00.004+05:30

As part of a new "People" series, I have decided to interview a few interesting people that I know. What follows is the interview of my father. He is an aeronautical engineer at HAL, Bangalore and has been my mentor and inspiration since my childhood. Thank you Pa for taking time out for this...

My Father: "I will try to answer them as my true response without any cosmetics to it. It may be raw sometimes."

Q1) Define yourself. What makes you, you?

Basically I am very simple and like to be sincere. I plan every thing. I want quick decisions. I am very straight forward in handling any issue. I am not a good negotiator as I am not a good listener. I am quick in reacting with emotions. I like to maintain a good balance between work and home. I love my family and my children. I like company of my friends. Sometimes I like to be alone. I do not like to boast around about myself, my achievements etc. I give due respect to all my elders. At work I am very supportive to all my colleagues and bosses as long as they are reasonable. I am a strong believer in God and would like to visit more and more temples. I like to listen to carnatic music , Bhajans and discourse in tamil on various epic.

Q2) You are a very deeply religious person, what made you so?

From child hood my mother has built in this habit with regular sloka classes in the morning and daily temple visits etc. Your amma has nurtured it further and given polish and shine to it. For performing religious activities family support is required and I am blessed with it. I feel religion is part and parcel of every individual without which there can be no dynamism in life. It is a lubricant and acts as a good bond to life. All values in life are derived from religion. A creeper requires good support. Religion is similar to that support in life. Creeper can grow without proper support frame also, but it will not be presentable. Likewise people can lead life without religion but to make progress in life religion is required.

Q3) What has been your experience as a devout and religious person? In what way did it change your life?

I strongly believe in God. Every action of ours needs his blessings. My experience is wonderful and you get self confidence and can view all happenings around us in proper perspective.
My level in all religious endeavour is still in ground level but actual requirement is to reach sky level with stars. So in short my position is like having intention to travel but not starting the journey.

Q4) Tell us something about your very interesting and long career.

Yeah. It is truly interesting. I love my job and the line in which I am working. I do not know whether I developed interest after I joined. Because I never aspired for a career in aviation. Even now for any body including me looking at every take off and landing of any aircraft is indeed an enjoyable sight each time and every time. Being near to the civil airport at Ecuador, here also I see a take off and landing every five minutes which is enjoyable whenever I watch. Initially I used to get frustrated with non-functioning individuals and indecisive bosses. But later I realized such people will be there everywhere and reconciled. I used to get frustrated when incompetent people got promotions and bonuses. But later I realised that in their eyes I might look like an incompetent person and I reconciled. Now I have no more frustrations and I realised that in life what ever anybody deserves will automatically fall in line, provided that you continue to do your job at your best and maximum efficiency.

Q5) Leh Ladhak, Thar desert, Ecuador, UK, Tawang and so many other diverse places have been on your travel itinerary. Tell us about what sort of perspective on life all this traveling gave you...

It was the first time I experienced -20 degree Celsius with sleeping bag and one mug of water (If u leave for 5 minutes it will turn in to ice) for all morning requirements etc. Food was good at Army mess. I used to wonder how the locals had been living under those extreme conditions.
Rajasthan another extreme of +48 degree celsius. There also normal activity was going on in scorching heat. Arunachal pradesh was very interesting layout and living on hills.
In UK, I admired their cleanliness of city and their marvelous metro system which they evolved 100 years back. Some metros have 4 levels of underground tracks.
At Ecuador we are in a far away place leaving family .... We are learning a new language- Spanish.

Q6) You allocate a huge amount of importance to the time you spend with your family, tell us something about what sort of a role family has played in your life...

Yes I love my family and my sweet children. Children are so nice to be with and have fun. Nice to be with them and talk to them about small things and play with them etc. Because that is the time parent should pay full attention because, afterwards they grow up and they are on their own. I like to spend time with family. As a parent I have learnt many things from my family. Life is full of learning and continuous and never ending.

Q7) You are a regular practitioner of yoga and you meditate regularly... In what way has this affected your life?

I have spent most of my schooling and college in NCC- for nearly 7 years. Hence that tenure taught me basic discipline in life and orderliness and need for physical fitness. Unless you are physically fit you cannot execute things. That is the basic need in life.

Yoga is one step higher. Other than physical fitness it helps blood circulation to each and every organ in your body and keeps them fit. It keeps the mind balanced and calm. Even Veda emphasises the need to keep the body and mind fit.
Earlier I was simply doing yoga through self learning. Now after I learnt Yoga through a Yoga teacher, Iam able to do it with focal concentration with each part getting exercised. I am getting the benefit of it. That is why I keep telling you guys to practice at least Suryanamaskaram every day along with Pranayamam in daily Sandhyavandan.

Arvee's Satyagraha

2009-08-12T21:14:00.002+05:30

The moment Arvee had boarded the train, he had received stares and frowning countenances seemed to stretch all the way to the rear of the coach. Arvee had been forced to travel in the Mixies coach after his surgery, but ever since he had heard the inspirational speech by Clive-52, he had decided not to remain silent and submissive any more.

Arvee was not born a Mixie, it was only after a hover boarding accident while racing with friends at his law school that some of his body parts had to be replaced by bio-mechanical robotic parts. It had been a very tough decision for his parents. His father had never consented to the cyborgation process, he had in fact even suggested euthanasia. However, under section 232.334 of the constitution of the Republic of Sol System of Planets, since Arvee's mother had consented to the cyborgation process, Arvee received a new lease of life.

Arvee though had not been too grateful to his mother, for though he seemed to have changed only on the exterior, with three robotic limbs and a minor base interface implant in his sub thalamus, many of his friends had suddenly turned cold towards him. Arvee had been aware of the disgust with which Mixies were treated by society at large, but he hadn't expected to be clubbed in the same category. Not with such a minor bio-mech replacement surgery. After all, he had grown up watching the controversies that Clive-52 kept getting involved in, and C-52 was no more human than the holo-vision set he used to watch the news bulletins on; or that was what Arvee believed until he himself started to receive the same treatment that C-52 had been put through right from when he had been born.

The day Arvee returned to college after his surgery, his entire universe came crashing down around him. Odd things started happening that morning at the Gravity Train station. Somehow, news of Arvee's surgery had percolated through to the masses. Arvee received many curious stares, but some of the curious stares also had an element of disgust in them. The security personnel on the platform walked up to Arvee just before the GravTrain pulled up at the station and escorted him to the separate coach meant for Mixies. Arvee felt a burning sensation at the back of his neck and his larynx failed him when he attempted to protest.

At school, not one of his previous friends seemed to want to talk to him. Soon, a crowd of some fifty odd persons collected outside the school, mostly consisting of the members of the Socialist Party of Titan (SPT). They raised slogans against the school for having retained Arvee on their rolls. The school administration had tried reasoning with the irate mob; after all, Arvee wasn't exactly a Mixie, with barely visible changes (the robotic limbs were designed to appear natural, they could even perspire), and with no quantum processor brain implants, he was almost as normal as any other kid.

At home that night, Arvee had locked himself in his room and had refused to come out for dinner. His worried mother though couldn't pay attention to him as she had been summoned to the sessions court of Crysdo (formerly known as S III Tethys- a moon of Saturn) to defend Arvee's case against the PIL filed by the SPT.

Arvee switched channels of his holo-vision, only to find his case being scrutinised on almost all the channels. Even Neuroz, one of Arvee's favorite channels which beamed their entertainment programmes directly to the cerebral cortex of the brain had changed their usual programmes and had instead put on a horror programme in which the machines/robots subjugate humanity for centuries until the “Chosen One” manages to destroy the machines and restore humanity to its past glory. On one of the news channels, a cadre of the SPT passionately spoke about how Arvee's father had been against the cyborgation.

Arvee felt like throwing up and his chest felt like it would explode. His vision blanked out and a saline sensation filled his mouth as he bit hard on his tongue. His hand seemed to move of it's own accord as it reached for the remote and soon, the Suicide Help Network's call in programme filled up half of Arvee's room.

Arvee lay slumped on his bed as he watched the programme. When it broke for a commercial, C-52's image filled up the holo-vision. Though a sympathetic government had come to power, C-52's civil rights movement was still largely marginalised, hence most of his campaign's adverts were featured only on non-mainstream channels such as the Suicide Help Network.

C-52 had been born with a debilitating and progressive motor neuron disease. His condition could have been treated with stem cell therapy. However, Lun, where his home was situated was where the pontiff, his Holiness, The Supreme Sumwump presided and stem cell therapy had been banned on Lun a century ago when one of the first colonies were being set up there.

C-52's parents had instead opted to sign him up for an experimental programme in which his brain would be fused with the quantum computing processor of a C-52, fusion fueled spacecraft.

C-52's soothing, deep voice calmed Arvee, and his passionate speech calling for the equal treatment of all humans dislodged the last bit of doubt clouding Arvee's mind. He became convinced that he too deserved to live and nobody had a right to marginalise him or demean him.

The next day, Arvee boarded the regular coach of the GravTrain. As the train freely fell down the tunnel at an acceleration of 9.8 meters per second squared, Arvee's own conviction to fight his fight to a logical and rational end swelled up within him. The stares and frowns around him didn't seem to matter anymore. Suddenly, the brakes of the GravTrain were applied and the train pulled up at a minor service station where passenger trains rarely stopped. The doors blasted open letting in a whiff of dried fish that were being loaded into a goods train docked nearby.

Two bulky security guards marched in and shouted out Arvee's name. When Arvee responded, the two of them roughly picked Arvee up and bodily threw him out of the train. His backpack came flying after him and as it landed, it spewed out it's contents all over the docking station. The doors slid shut and the train whizzed away leaving behind a trail of water vapour as the fusion engine ran at max rpm to work the train up to the required velocity.

Arvee stood up and brushed the dirt off his trousers. His face was red with rage, but he drew in two deep breaths and calmed himself. As he stood there amid the jeering of the workers at the loading bay, Arvee silently swore to never rest until he and the other cyborgs were treated with the respect and dignity that they deserved. Much like another great soul who had stood on the platform of Pietermaritzburg as he resolved to start off Satyagraha, Arvee too fisted his hands and raised it upwards and yelled out to the universe in general, “The day Clive and me and the other cyborgs are treated as humans shall be the day of enlightenment for humanity, until then, my body and mind shall know no rest!”

Hashi Bhaiya- Short Story

2009-08-06T10:17:00.003+05:30

For all those who had had a rough night, the following day would invariably start under Hashi Bhaiya's expert stewardship. His push cart which had one day turned up under the Banyan tree near the student's activity center quickly became the one source of solace for Advaith and many of his friends who liked to enjoy the occasional wild night.

As a bleary eyed Advaith walked up to Hashi Bhaiya's corner one sunday, late in the morning, he noticed a long faced fresher sitting on the improvised bench next to the cart. Hashi Bhaiya was preparing his special Sikanjvi, so it quickly became clear to Advaith that something had badly shaken up the “kid”. Advaith had not paid much attention to the freshers that year as the university had tightened it's grip on ragging and had gone to extraordinary lengths to curb the so called social evil. So much so that, the freshers' hostel resembled a jail after sunset.

Advaith gave a nod of acknowledgement to Hashi Bhaiya who returned it with a knowing smile. He knew that the MADS (music and dramatics society) gang had been hanging out at Wadia Bros., the alcohol store/improvised pub, the previous night. Wadia Bros. was an establishment which had for years been the mainstay for all the thirsty souls. It was an alcohol store like none other. With a clinic adjacent to it, the frequent visitors to this watering hole par excellence quite often joked amongst themselves about how TIP (This Is Punjab, inspired by the movie “Blood Diamond”) the entire set-up was. There were plastic chairs and tables on the pavement in front of the store with a tiny tin shed to one side which served starters for those who preferred their drinks with something spicy.

Hashi Bhaiya served the fresher his drink and counseled him about surviving the initial bout of home sickness that most freshers go through. Advaith stopped worrying about the “kid”, he almost felt a supercilious emotion; he looked towards the fresher for one last time with a condescending smile. The “kid” nervously looked away; Advaith decided to leave him alone and instead turned his gaze upon Hashi Bhaiya who had prepared the pick me up that he knew Advaith would eventually order. Advaith accepted his Pudhina (mint) tea with deep gratitude which he somehow managed to convey to Hashi Bhaiya through his puffy, bloodshot eyes. “A plate of chole kulche will do you a lot of good, don't skip breakfast Puttar”, said Hashi Bhaiya in rich, flowing, Punjabi accented Hindi. Advaith readily accepted the offered plate, knowing that the mess in his hostel would have stopped serving breakfast this late in the morning.

A light drizzle started and Hashi Bhaiya quickly moved his push cart further into the recesses of the shade provided by the banyan tree. One of the wheels had long since rusted and the cart moved only when Hashi Bhaiya threw his considerable bulk behind it. Advaith sipped on his tea while he gently tested the waters as he attempted to slip back into the turbulent pool of consciousness.

“Why don't you get your wheels repaired Bhaiya?” asked Advaith through the slowly clearing haze clouding his mind.

“My customers and children that I love are all here, what need do I have to move my cart?”

Advaith returned to his hostel to get back to his books. He had had enough of fun and it was time he got started with his studies since campus placement season was about to begin. His resolve to cut out the distractions even led him to refuse to answer Sachi's, his girlfriend, calls. He had reasoned that he could always have fun again, all he had to do was abstain for a couple of months and he could always make up for it later.

Twenty years later, Advaith found himself returning to his campus, which apart from a few shiny buildings remained very much the same familiar home away from home. He had indeed managed to land a lucrative position with an MNC, and for twenty years since the day he had refused to answer Sachi's phone call, he had had little or none of the kind of fun that he had grown accustomed to during his four years on campus. On the day he had been promoted to the top position which put him in charge of the Indian wing of his company, he had received an email from his institutes's Training and Placement Cell requesting for an appointment.

The email sent a jolt of excitement through his body. For twenty years he had worked eighty hour weeks and never had he even contemplated a vacation until that moment. Putting all activities on hold, he called his institute to let them know that an appointment with his offices would be unnecessary as he had decided to personally visit the institute.

As the cab neared the familiar marble decorated gates, Advaith felt like a child entering a toy store. He felt like whooping and jumping in the air.

The two hours with the dean of industrial liaison turned out to be a drawn out affair, Advaith was reminded of all the red tape that he and his friends had to cut through during the many times they had had to organise tech-fests or cul-fests.

He was relieved when he finally was able to step out of the dean's office and walk out onto the campus. He walked around his erstwhile favourite haunts and spent ageless moments gazing at the many once familiar spots. Now that Advaith was taking a close look, what emerged was almost perverse. The innumerable nooks and corners of the campus which had once been an integral part of Advaith's universe had all changed in some small way or the other. There were a couple of new buildings, but what was more alarming was the smaller changes. The Gulmohar tree under which he had first met his girlfriend had grown taller and seemed somehow, older and weaker with many branches cut off. As he rounded the corner around the student's activities center, his mind flew to a moment which had occurred twenty years ago, to a moment spent in the company of Hashi Bhaiya. He dreaded what seemed to him the inevitable. It felt like all the omens and portends which had built up a sense of foreboding in Advaith were all meant to climax at this moment when he would turn the corner...

And there he was, with a lot more grays in his hair, and his push cart missing a wheel entirely. The three other wheels had developed a lot more rust. Advaith walked up to the cart with palpitations building up in his chest. Would Hashi Bhaiya recognise him, would it be just like the old times, or would this too be another perverse metamorphosis, alien to the treasured forms that he held so close to his bosom?

“Why so jittery? Sit, I'll make you some Pudhina chai- Baijao- sit.”

Advaith walked around the cart to take his usual place on the bench, wondering if Hashi Bhaiya had actually recognised him. He accepted his tea with shaking hands and drank half the contents in one go. Hashi Bhaiya had remembered how Advaith would insist on being served chai which was not too hot, but at just the right temperature. However, he was still unsure, the tea had only increased his heart beat rate and had made him even more protective of his memories. If he opened up now, it would only make him more vulnerable.

“Have you been in touch with Sachi?” asked Hashi Bhaiya.

A shocked expression was all that Advaith could muster up in terms of a reply to the question.

“Ha Ha! Drink your tea first, then we can talk.”

The laugh too had remained unchanged, Advaith's temporary lapse from sanity was remedied by the Pudhina Chai.

“It is only you children who forget us, can any father stop thinking about any of his children?” said Hashi Bhaiya with a saintly smile on his face.

Advaith's throat had developed a curious condition, no matter how hard he tried to swallow, his saliva refused to flow down his oesophagus.

“You haven't been in touch with Sachi have you? Look puttar, money, power, fame are all things that we thirst for, it is only love that can actually quench our thirst. Sachi is also here in Jhelum hostel, she is doing her post doctorate, go meet, who knows, maybe something good will happen. Ha Ha! Wipe the drool off your face puttar, you look like you have just seen a ghost!”

Advaith recovered enough to laugh along with Hashi Bhaiya. For the next two hours, he sat under the banyan tree enjoying himself like he never had over the past twenty years.

“Theek hai puttar, enough time you have spent with this old man. I have a special treat for you!” said Hashi Bhaiya as he whipped out his mobile phone.

That evening was the first of the innumerable evenings that Advaith would eventually spend in the loving company of Sachi.

Four Little Red Pigs

2009-07-12T15:15:00.002+05:30

Four little red pigs waddled up the hill
"Why did the farmer sharpen his sickle?"
The first little red pig asked his siblings

"To harvest his crop of paddy in his fields"
"Isn't is obvious?" said the second little pig

"But isn't his crop of paddy all still green?"
"So why did the farmer sharpen his sickle?"

To answer her third little red piggy brother
The fourth little red pig said the following:
"We've all grown very fat haven't you noticed?"
"To escape a stewy doom we must waddle over the hill"

My theory on Shit

2009-06-28T19:55:00.002+05:30

Keeping with the my blog's latest theme of scatology, I decided to finally reveal to the world my most secret theory. Let it be known that the information that I'm about to reveal is so revolutionary that the scientific community will be left awestruck by my brilliant single handed research work on such an important topic.

Have you noticed how after you have traveled in a bus or train which vibrates a lot, you tend to get constipated the next morning or whenever it is that you shit? Note that I'm talking about vehicles which vibrate a lot, if you travel in Volvo AC buses with super duper suspension systems, then you won't be able to relate to this predicament that many a bone rattled guest of Mamta Bannerjee faces.

Yes, I've been in the same predicament too, so after extensive amount of thought, I've formed my theory about this phenomenon which I now present to your scrutiny:

You see, when your rectum and large intestines are subjected to vibrations, most of the air voids in your shit get rattled out of position and result in a higher than natural fart rate. Good quality shit must obviously have a good amount of mobility, but that is made impossible when the air voids are removed. Imagine the air voids as tiny ball bearings which help increase the mobility of shit, without them, you are left with a congealed mess which tends to result in constipation.

Now that you have understood the root of the problem, I'm sure that you will find ways to improve the quality of your shit and in turn your shitting experience even after having traveled for hours in a rattling bus or train. I suggest that you eat a lot of gassy food stuff, like raddish and pulses and beans before you board your vehicle.

Oh Shit! I've got to Pee!

2009-06-28T19:17:00.003+05:30

My brother asked me why I shout like that when I have to release toxic effluents into the drainage system of namma Bengaluru. My answer to him was manifold, and it is as follows:

(if you are wondering why anyone would be interested in the toilet rituals of someone like me who is not even related to a celeb, then I'll have you know that there are many people out there who are either too bored at work or are too bored of television and are willing to read voluminous reports of totally yuck things. If you don't fit into the above two categories, I beg you to read on, because otherwise I can't fulfil my dream to get a book deal signed and become famous and all that)

1. Mostly I keep putting off the visit to the loo until the pressure builds to unbearable limits- (yes Ma, I know that it is unhealthy, I'm working on some yoga techniques to break the habit) hence the need to exclaim.

2. The reason why I first invoke the blessings of the lord of Shit is to ensure that while I'm pissing, no solid wastes play peek-a-boo.

3. I make a public announcement to make sure that nobody impedes my path to urinary salvation.

4. Also, in the Sacred Book of Karuzamia, the path to salvation was..... Oh Shit! I've got to Pee!
Bye!

Rejoice!

2009-06-19T20:05:00.003+05:30

Cracks in the parched Earth
Invitingly dark and deep
If only I could bury my burning body
away from the harsh white heat

The dusty blazing wind in my face
turns it into a clayey cake
It howls Death's grand name
and cackles at my stooped figure

I squint into the blue expanse
for a glimpse of Monsoon's bounty
Alas, the searing heat burns my retina
leaving behind a white noose

With waistlines thin as my scrawny rooster's neck
My children await me at the threshold of my hut
My wife amiles as our eyes meet
With as much passion as our loveing first gazes
Alas, this wasn't a smile in anticipation of Life
This was a smile of a soul to be released
Death shall be my children's first and last love!
Rejoice! Rejoice!

Baisakhi

2009-06-19T19:53:00.002+05:30

Rejoice my love, for 'tis time to sharpen the sickle
The Punjabis are dancing their colorful Bhangra
Kashmiris enjoy a last game of cricket on the Dal
The Tamils are boiling their sweet savoury Pongal
The beautiful Malayali girls are plucking flowers

The fiery chariot drawn by seven horses blazes across
The sickle is sharp now, my Love!
'tis time to harvest our souls, for crops we have none
Death's embrace do we seek, kiss me one last time!

A True Life Story

2009-06-14T13:24:00.002+05:30

The frail wrinkled hand reached for the remote. Overhead the rickety ceiling fan swept the dense, humid air as it futilely attempted to comfort Rajaram.

The black and white television set had long since given up the ghost and mostly displayed faint, grainy images accompanied by barely discernible sounds.

Rajaram however attributed the low quality of his television viewing experience to his failing vision and hearing.

He lethargically browsed through the few free channels that streamed through his dish antenna and found yet another serial which had a storyline and characters similar to the five others he had already seen since the morning.

His morning had been just like the ninety five mornings he had spent in his personal room at the nursing centre. Ninety six mornings before that day however had been anything but routine.

He had had a restless and lonely night. Not exactly lonely though, for had he been just lonely, it would have been unremarkable given that he had no family. On that night, a dull pain in his chest kept him company.

Saying that he had no family would also be slightly inaccurate. No, he had an ex-wife and two children somewhere in the vast Indian sub-continent. However, ever since he had severed ties with his wife, he had become so much like the floating jetsam of a wrecked ship, floating all by himself in the ocean called life.

His two sisters had tried to mend his marriage, only to face the egotistical wrath of Rajaram.

The television set continued to weakly beam an episode of a serial that Rajaram had been a regular watcher of for the past three years. He had felt an instant connection with the protagonist's husband. The story had begun in much the same way as his life had.

The “husband” had been an IAS officer, just like Rajaram had been one. The “husband's” family too had arranged his marriage with a well educated woman who was a General Physician.

Rajaram had been amused by the similarities between his own life and that of the “husband” in the serial.

The “husband” in the serial too was an egotist and a male chauvinist. He too had believed that the right place for a woman was to be by her husband's side. Much like the “husband”, Rajaram had been irked by the fact that Susila, his wife, was a successful private medical practitioner who made much more than what his paltry “government salary” amounted to. This had led to a great deal of tension and ultimately, the protagonist left her husband's home and went elsewhere with her children.

However, this was where the similarities ended. In the serial, the “husband” realized the error of his ways and after suffering many privations of the soul and mind (which was very melodramatically portrayed by the director) he re-established contact with his wife and attempted to get back together.

Rajaram's life had however been very different. A few months after Susila had left him, his sisters had come to him with the news that she had moved to Bombay and had become the director of a prestigious medical facility.

With demented eyes, he had thrown his sisters out of his bungalow when one of them had mentioned that Susila had become immensely wealthy.

A few years after having alienated himself from his siblings, he had been discharged dishonourably from the Civil Services after a popular newspaper had exposed his “under the table” deals with many industrialists.

Rajaram felt cheated. After all, he had only been trying to right a wrong, how dare a woman earn more than her husband? Life had continued its downward spiral as Rajaram drowned his frustrations in alcohol and cigarettes. Not even his ill gotten wealth could support him as he frittered it away on booze, drugs and random sluts who he would pick off the streets.

The image in the television set flickered and became grainier than before as the final episode of the serial came to an end. It was followed by an interview of the director.

As previously stated, ninety six mornings before that day, Rajaram awoke to a lovely spring day with an ear piercing scream as the dull pain in his chest had spiked in intensity.

The ambulance ride and the three days in the ICU had been a blur. Three days later, the doctor had come up to him and told him that his death was imminent and that all that medicine could do for him had already been attempted. They had helped him find the 24x7 nursing facility where they had promised to manage his pain and make death as comfortable as possible.

The last of his savings in his Swiss Bank account had had to be withdrawn to pay for the enormous fee of the nursing centre.

The interview with the director seemed to be dragging on, so Rajaram reached for the remote but stopped in his tracks when he heard the director say that the story had been based on a true life story. He went on to reveal that he had been a ten year old when his parents had broken up and his mother had never once spoken about his father after she had moved away with the children. He went on to say that his mother had died three years ago when his serial had gone on air. Towards the end of the interview, he pleaded with tear filled eyes for any information regarding Rajaram, his father.

The fan continued to sweep the dense, humid air downwards towards a Rajaram wearing a shocked expression on his face, his hands limp on the remote as he painlessly suffered his final myocardial infraction.

Narendra Modi

2009-05-10T21:25:00.002+05:30

The previous post on this blog was by my brother, Arjun. If you have read it, you would have noticed that my brother defended Narendra Modi's right to be presumed innocent until found guilty.

I say fuck that! It is simply something that the justice system needs to do. The public lost faith in him when as the head of the administration, he sat passively while blood flooded the streets. He lost his right to seek re-election at that very moment. This just happens to be my view. Hunger, poverty, famine, droughts, child labour etc. are very important election issues, but the worthiness of the person standing for election is also a very valid election issue and must not be termed as irrelevant bickering by the media.

Guest Post- What's Your Problem?

2009-05-10T21:20:00.002+05:30

Hello, what follows was written by my brother- Arjun. He promised to give me a short story, but ended up giving me this. But I shall still pester him until he gives me a short story...

At a time when the whole world is reeling under the combined effect of climate change, recession, starvation, malnutrition and terrorism, it seems quite amusing that so many people find the time to make mountains out of seemingly non-existent mole hills.

Just the other day, a front page article in a supplementary newspaper waxed on endlessly about the commercialization of the ongoing IPL. The author seemed to have a big problem with the use of certain phrases, like “DLF Maximum” and “a CITI moment of success”, by the commentators; this, while the little boy collecting newspapers from homes, or his friend who cleans the tables at restaurants, seem to have escaped the authors hawk-like vision. Of course, child labour is boring and passé.

When the largest democracy in the world wakes up to vote, can controversy be far behind? The dirty face of politics obviously left an impression on the “Aam Admi” in the run up to the elections, and he felt duty-bound to put pen to paper. Just a day or two before Gujarat went to the polls, the “Letters To The Editor” section of a popular newspaper was flooded with the words of anxious citizens of the nation baying for the blood of one Mr. Modi. He was accused of being a criminal and the mastermind of a genocide. They went on to denounce Mr. Modi’s participation in the elections and demanded his immediate withdrawal from the race. So much for “innocent until proven guilty”. Another section of the Indian Public seemed to have a problem with Sonia Gandhi, arguably the most powerful woman in India, being of Italian birth. In the process, unfortunately, the big issues of farmer suicides, low voter turnout in many constituencies including the National Capital, poverty, heat waves, power cuts and crop failures don’t seem to be on the agenda.

I guess it is human nature to find the tiniest of flaws in any given situation. Consider this example. Nowadays, it seems to be the ‘in thing’ to hate politicians. If one is a politician, then one is written off as an overweight, under-educated and corrupt individual. We must learn to appreciate before we deliver our criticism. The entire nation runs on the will power of these very same politicians. We are ready to jump down their throats at the slightest hint of a mistake, yet, how many of us thank them when a new power plant is installed, or a stretch of road is repaired. Forget politicians. How many of us thank the auto-driver as we alight from his vehicle?

In spring 2008, the world was stunned by the Josef Fritzl case. Leading news channels all over the world broadcast the story. Recently, a case of similar nature, involving a man, his daughter, his wife and a ‘tantric’, was unraveled in Namma Bengalooru, but the story disappeared after just a short article in a newspaper.

Each day, thousands of animals face a gruesome death in China as they are skinned alive for their fur, and all we worry about is how poorly India was portrayed in ‘Slumdog Millionaire’. However much we may dislike it, majority of Indians live below the poverty line. India does have the largest and the most number of slums. Instead of whining, how many of us actually tried to change that statistic? How many of us pocket a chocolate wrapper instead of littering the road?
It’s time we woke up and asked ourselves what our problem really is.

Arranged Marriages

2009-05-10T00:29:00.004+05:30

I am going to state at the very outset that I am against the very concept of arranged marriages as it is practised in India. So, yes, this little essay is going to be heavily biased, but what the heck, this is my blog after all and I should be allowed to say what I truly feel. The only problem is that my folks back at home are eventually going to read this, and let me tell you, you cannot find a more orthodox and conservative tamil brahmin family anywhere else.

Firstly, I do not get the whole idea of the caste system. I don't care if it worked for society back then, today is today, and it does not make sense applying the caste system in a world that is moving towards becoming one global village. Shockingly, our IT boom did not help us lose our pretentious divisions, it led to the creation of matrimonial websites which shamelessly and openly flaunt the adverts placed by many desperate people out there.

It disgusts me when I see one of these typical adverts which usually run like this: "Software engineer, IIT grad, working with MNC, looking for tall, fair, housewife of such and such caste and such and such gotra"

Many proponents of the arranged marriages cite the extremely low divorce rate in India, which is at present 1.1% and compare this with the much higher divorce rate in USA, which is 48%. Simply put, this argument is bull-crap! The divorce rate is not high in India because our society still frowns upon those who choose to leave an unhappy marriage. Partners in a malfunctioning marriage are usually expected to grit their teeth and hang in there no matter what.

It doesn't matter if their mental health keeps taking a beating every single day that they spend with each other forcibly, it doesn't matter that their psyche takes a beating when they are forced to sleep on separate beds because they cannot stand the sight of each other, it doesn't matter if their children face abuse and mental trauma from all the bitching and fighting everyday, because what really matters is family reputation and honour isn't it?

Women in the USA are not like the women in India who have been and are being oppressed. A woman here is usually perceived as nothing more than a house-maker and as a baby producing machine. As my biology teacher put it, the reason behind India's failure at population control is nothing more than "lack of recreation". Women are even today traded like livestock, the only difference is that people pay the seller for the livestock; in the case of women, the seller pays the husband a huge dowry to take away his daughter! Even educated women quietly consent to marriages wherein they are forced to play second fiddle, where they are forbidden from studying further or from working.

It is the double edged sword of lack of women empowerment and the ferocious, feral need for societal approval that has contributed towards India's low divorce rates.

Now I am not saying that arranged marriages go hand in glove with dowries or with the trend of subjugation of women. I do concede that many open minded people today are not averse to the idea of an empowered woman. Many have awoken and said no to dowries. But the fact remains that arranged marriages still do function on the principle of marrying within your own community.

We are a nation of bigots who make a loud hue and cry when a pretty face receives racist comments on some game show on UK's cable TV, go figure!

The Giant's Fall

2009-05-09T14:41:00.002+05:30

The blank white noise of terror gripped at the pit of the giant’s belly. For years had he terrorized the denizens of nearby villages, for years had he exploited his natural gift of greater size and stature to subjugate the peasants. For years had he fed off the plates of the tillers of the soil and grown old and fat, his family had grown in size and he had begotten limbless offspring, for they had adapted to a life of ease and lack of need to exercise one’s limbs to eke out a living.

With time, his sight failed, his muscles weakened, his nimble limbs grew limp. The villages at the extremity of his realm withdrew from his liege-ship. Gradually his radius of influence shrunk and the day came when it shriveled to nothing. The wronged peasants drew up their cudgels and the frenzied mob frothed towards the cave of the fallen subjugator.

Ebullient blood cascaded out the hillside, the giant putting up a last stand, a clamorous battle ensued. In a last bid, the giant, with pulsating, raging veins beat back the rebels, and then, exhausted, he fell like a huge oak tree being felled.

One fat green eyed peasant settled the others. With soothing oily words, he convinced them that he would be a good replacement for the giant. The farmers picked him up on their shoulders and declared him their new liege-lord. The oldest, frailest among them remembered the moment many decades ago when the fallen giant started out in much the same way as the scene that was playing out now.

With a frantic palpitating heart, he shouted out a warning, “Fools! Don’t you see, he is the same as your fallen foe lying before you.

The bearers smiled, “Fret not old one, young be we, but not foolish!” They hurried out of the cave and quickly ascended to the summit of the mount, and with one powerful heave, they ejected their green eyed brother over the edge.

2009-05-04T15:20:00.001+05:30

Happy Wedding Day Ma and Pa!

The waves rolled gently into the shore,

the sun played on the sand,

the light drizzle adorned the sky with a rainbow.

The two children played without a care

Ma and Pa stood by ever watchful

looking out for the storm and lightning

Never a moment's rest did they seek

Forever watchful they remained

Their bond of marriage, a golden hammock

upon which the children romped and matured

A home did they build with bricks of love

mortared with happiness and peace.

A few summers before, on this very day

the foundation had been laid

Do you see the stars celebrate?

Yonder, the birds sing and the very Earth

brims with joyous bounty to mark the day

My verses though weak flow from my heart

Please do accept my best wishes and love

The Queer

2009-04-19T11:10:00.001+05:30

To the peaks, cried the voice. In a hurry, they swarmed up the slopes. The queer ran ahead, with his shiny white butt exposed to the world.
Everyone has a red butt, like a baboon, how dare he practice witchcraft of an unnatural nature to morph the pigmentation of his butt to white?

In a frenzy they bore the torches with flames flaring high, with a pungent odour of hatred did their breath flume out of their flared nostrils. Chanting their leader's limericks, they proceeded with self righteous zeal, their quarry with a white shiny butt remaining but a fraction of a yard ahead. To the summit did force the mad crowd, the white butted queer looks over the edge to find a sheer drop. Turning around, he faces the frothing mob. In his desperation, he looks upwards to find clouds with leering gazes towards his shiny white butt.

The rioting mob proceeded forth with a united blood-thirst and a loud piercing cry which awoke a pensive monk from his contemplation of the infinite. He appeared with a trail of vapour before the rabid rioters, his calm, electrifying gaze stopped them in their tracks. Through his aura of blue electric arcs, the queer could be seen with a dumbstruck expression on his brow.

What be this soul's misdeed that merits such repercussions from society queried the ascetic suspended before the mob.
He holds the magical skills of sinister potential, he is capable of alchemy which turns our proud race's red butts into disgraceful shiny white butts.

I am capable of even greater alchemy you insane fools. Of powerful energy be I possessed, now shall I smote you all with some of my purifying piety. As fools did you summit this mount, now I shall make you turn tail as enlightened, clearer minds.

The queer returned home a normal person that night and thanked the great soul who came to his timely rescue. White or red mattered not any more, peace was restored until another issue were to surface.

High Times-2

2009-04-17T15:41:00.000+05:30

“Who runs the show?” asked the man in green, with fledgling limbs. In reply, he hears noise of a strange tongue, of Betelgeuse and Irish it was a mix.

Of greater wisdom the man grew, black and white suits him fine. “Who is bad and who is good?” asked the man in black and white. In reply he hears laughter of cackling disdain. “Black I know not of young one, and neither be I acquainted with White. All I see is a twilight grey, of no man's land be I.”

Upward did rise the man on the scale of life. Of grey whiskers and greyer attire be he now. “What is my purpose?” asked the man in grey, “where does my twisted path lead?”
“Grey be the no man's land where a man's stuff be not made of purpose, of unclear knowledge be he of the grey hue. All I see is the golden path of sacrifice and asceticism.” said the hermit in reply.

Further toward the zenith did rise the man of golden heart and ascetic exterior. Of virtue be now his stuff made, of twisted paths he cares not, with a known but still unknown destination in mind, seeks he the bliss of unknown quality. “Why is everything?” asks the man of gold.
“That be not the question that us the hue-less seek, of lesser words be our question framed.”

Up or down matters not any more, suffice to say, the man progressed, of hue-less quality be his interior and exterior. Of austerity be now his path made, with hurdles of the mind preceding foremost. “What?” asked the man of colourless identity.
“Be you now close to what thou seek”, said the voice of nothing and everything, of the infinitesimal and the infinite.

Of un-followable path did the non-identity take, of everything and nothing did the non-identity learn... of bliss and violence.... of the infinite and the infinitesimal....

High Times-1

2009-04-13T12:59:00.002+05:30

A deep dark recess juts right through a huge boulder. As I enter into this, a huge lizard which looks more like a dragon is seen approaching at a tremendous pace with its tail whipping about and tongues of flame licking about its mouth.

I dance around the monster's mouth, stepping in and out of range, when all of a sudden, my vision projects forwards, almost as if my eyes have been moved forward through a long tunnel, straight into the throat of the monster, where I see the source of the flame. An orb of fire much like the sun remains suspended near the base of the throat of the lizard. The orb had a fiery female form dancing at the very core. The lizard reminded me of the frustrating admin of our university, the desires and distractions along my path to gaining the orb of knowledge. The lizard tried its best to close its jaws lined with the sharp and menacing teeth on me.

With a lot of luck, I manage to somehow grab the orb and free her from the grip of the dragon whose jaws prevented her from spreading her light to the whole world. With the orb I race out of the recess which was now flooded in dazzling light. As I exit the crack, I find myself in a thorny valley with green slopes populated with menacing gorillas and other lizards. Hundreds of these creatures surround me as I try to escape with the orb which has now changed form and has taken the shape of a girl with flames dancing around her.

As the creatures closed in on me, the situation started to look dire. However, when I seek a way out of my predicament by consulting the fiery female form besides me, I immediately gain reassurance and my anxiety was replaced by a new found determination.

The flames danced all around me and a fiery circle started expanding from the very centre, repelling all the creatures as it advanced outwards. The surrounding darkness was gradually consumed by the light from the centre of the ever expanding circle. A fiery and flaming tower of manic proportions jets vertically upwards into the sky and the light starts to engulf the entire planet. Many centres of darkness resisted the light, a battle ensued with sometimes the darkness prevailing over the light and sometimes, the other way around. Gradually, the light managed to engulf the entire planet, that was when my vision zoomed outwards at an unimaginable speed and soon I could see entire galaxies going through the same process of the alternating between light and darkness. Whenever an entire galaxy became engulfed with light, a few streaks of light would escape from the galaxy and disappear out of the universe, going to some place which I was unable to imagine.

Whenever an entire galaxy would be lit up completely, there would be a short period during which a few streaks of light would escape out of the known universe. After some time though, small parts of the lit area would start growing dark, cracks would appear, and gradually there would be more and more areas of darkness, and soon, the entire galaxy would be plunged into darkness. This process would go on alternating...

The only thing that I could conclude was that true freedom would be obtained only when we decide to search for that something which we truly require... for me that something is knowledge. In this age of instant gratification seekers, it has become something of a rarity to witness anyone thinking deeper about the realities of life and the universe. A few minutes of self contemplation can go a long way to help a person gain a perspective on their lives.

My Ubuntu Experience

2009-04-07T00:45:00.003+05:30

About three months ago, I installed ubuntu on my laptop mainly because XP had frustrated me with constant virus problems and slow execution of programs. Initially, I kept both XP and ubuntu, but when the virus problem escalated to such a level that XP became unusable, I totally switched over to ubuntu.

I must admit that there were a few minor hiccups along the way, and there still are, but there are many more problems when it comes to any MS OS. Besides, the only thing that I had to do was to run a simple Google search for the ubuntu forum addressing the particular problem that I was facing, and voilà, the problem would be solved!

Apart from the above obvious reasons for switching to ubuntu, there were other tiny factors which cemented my transition from years of MS usage to Linux. The most important was that the OS was very simple to use. I am no coder, and I always imagined that linux was for the geeky coder or developer. Oh boy was I wrong! Even finding applications for any specific need is simple, all you have to do is open up this application which automatically searches for the programs, downloads them and installs them. I simply had to check the box next to the search results and the program was downloaded and installed, absolutely no hassles.

If you are used to the windows applications, fret not. The open source community is constantly evolving to produce amazing new applications which can not only claim their right as alternatives to the windows programs, but can claim to be superior. I guess the advantage is that in the open source community, the everyday user has the capability to modify the program in any way to suit his/her particular needs. This way, many of the programs have ended up with innovative and nifty features which set them apart from the proprietary software. Just take the example of Mozzila Firefox which is an open source project, do I need say more?

Talking about the graphics, all I can say is AWESOME! I even managed to run popular windows compatible games like counter strike on my ubuntu using a windows emulator called wine.

Now when you put all the above things together, what do you get? An awesome computing experience with which you are bound to fall in love with. Trust me, I'm totally smitten!

2009-04-05T10:04:00.005+05:30

A view of a flooded rice field near Senchi, Tamil Nadu. Senchi (or Gingee as it was known during the colonial period) is an old town. Historically, Senchi was the capital of the kingdom of Desingh Raja. Today, you can still see the forts that stand atop two hills. The palaces and various other structures are very interesting to say the least, and if you manage to climb to the top of the hill housing the King's Durbar, you will be delighted by the amazing view. Best time to visit this place is in the winter months of Nov-Jan.

A view from atop the Malana valley in Himachal Pradesh. It was one crazy experience. Three of us were bored and a long stretch of holidays were coming up, so we packed our bags and caught a bus to HP. Once we got there, we decided to go to Malana. Malana is a remote tribal village with strange customs,beliefs and terrific views of the Himalayas. Also worth mentioning about Malana is the huge amount of Hashish that is processed there. It is said to be one of the world's best in terms of quality...

My Autorikshaw Bright!

2009-04-04T19:29:00.003+05:30

Putt, putt, putt
I start out from my hut
early in the morning light

Putt, putt, putt
I roam the streets left and right
in my autorikshaw bright

Putt, putt, putt
The policeman demands his cut
You'd be a fool if you chose
to show him your butt

Putt, putt, putt
I carry a foreigner, white
in my autorikshaw bright
my meter runs like a jet flight

Putt, putt, putt
my pocket's not any more light
as i drive into the morning bright!
Alas, i run out of fuel, shite!
so i drive into the station, right
only to receive a bloody fright!
What with wars in Iraq mate (Note: Aussie accent for mate :))
my pocket's restored to being light.

But, but, but
i still have my autorikshaw, bright
as i drive along the streets, left and right!

The Killing

2009-04-02T22:15:00.007+05:30

He stood staring at his shadow
At the long dark patches of grass
As the sun dipped to meet the sea
His spirits sunk even lower

What black vistas was his mind visiting?
What dark dungeons was his heart held in?
What did the smiling babe see
that caused this metamorphosis?

His brother lies dead near his feet
His hands still hold the red blade
His heart still races as he recounts
the last sputtering breath of the dead

Does his soul weep to see
the carnage wreaked by his hands?
To kill a brother is one thing
but to do it cos his God is not yours...

Alas, we are mistaken my friend
He smiles as the black face that smiles green
to see the briefcase finally arrived
with the cash for the deed performed

The Interview

2009-04-02T19:06:00.001+05:30

Saravan was on his usual rounds, the milking grounds that he was accustomed to seemed to beckon to him with a filial love. The relentless, sticky heat of the summer had forced even the dogs off the streets, but Saravan was on a mission. With his brow shining brighter than the waxed, metallic bodies of the cars lining the street, he opened the gate of the first house on the street.

Mrs. Shanmugam opened the door and recognized Saravan immediately. She was a lady in her late fifties and was the type that had never been employed in her entire lifetime. Her purpose in life had been to marry and to care for the children and the household. A victim of her times, when it had been considered improper for a woman to aspire for a corporate life. The little of the home that one could catch a glimpse of behind Mrs. Shanmugam's girth evoked a strange emotion in Saravan, he couldn't define the emotion, though many of the readers would easily be able to identify with the emotion: the emotion that one feels when visiting one's home, where one feels secure and cared for, a safe womb where none of the evils of the world can touch us.

Saravan though had never had a home, the initial stages of his boyhood had been spent on the streets. He had no memory of his mother, only that of his older brother who had cared for him while on the streets. The latter part of his childhood had been spent in the 'Sri Sai' orphanage. The streets of Bangalore had not been kind to young Saravan, he had been brought into the orphanage by some kind, caring gent who had found Saravan lying in a garbage heap in a stupor induced by inhaling the fumes of “ErazeX”. Despite the best efforts of the staff, they couldn't coax a single word out of young Saravan for months together. However when Saravan finally started speaking, he turned out to be a fast learner...

Mrs. Shanmugam had become accustomed to Saravan's monthly visits, she threw her door as wide open as her comely smile, which again evoked an emotion in Saravan which most of us would associate with the motherly figures in our lives. Mrs. Shangmugam's children had all grown up and flown out from under her wings, so it had been just her and her husband for the past five years. Saravan had always reminded her of her own son, Raghu. After all, Saravan tended to visit her more often than Raghu and had more patience when it came to making conversation with an old lady.

On that particular day however, Mrs. Shanmugam seemed rather excited, after having offered Saravan a glass of sweet buttermilk, she told him that Raghu had arrived that morning and that she would love for them to meet.

Raghu, a strapping young man in his thirties had come to Bangalore because he had grown rather bored of his job at a KPO. He had had enough of the relentless work cycles and the madness of New York city. In search of greener pastures, he had posted his resume on a website and had been called for an interview, which was the reason for Raghu's presence in Bangalore.

Raghu and Saravan however didn't get off on the right footing...

“What is it that you exaclty do Mr. Saravan?” asked Raghu.
“I am here to collect donations for the Sri Sai orphanage, I come once every month, Mrs. S has been kind enough to donate over the past two years.”

“Don't take this the wrong way Mr. Saravan, but I have seen a lot of people like you in my life. You could have been able to run this charade to fool my mother, but I don't want you bothering us any more. If you would excuse me now, I have an interview to attend.”

Saravan chose not to react, he had come across such people before and had resigned himself to the fact that humanity is capable of widely varying behaviour, ranging from the comely charm of Mrs. Shanmugam to the ruthlessness that Raghu shares with many others.

Mrs. Shanmugam squirming with immense discomfiture could not make eye contact with Saravan, when she finally managed to look at Saravan as he was closing the gate, she was instantly put at ease by Saravan who flashed her one of his huge smiles that he was famous for; twenty eight of his thirty two fine pearly whites were flashed at Mrs. Shanmugam.

The day his brother had died of dehydration on the street corner adjacent to Manipal hospital on 'Airport Road', had been the day when a certain Ms. Indra Gandhi had ceased control of the entire nation. Saravan would have surely followed suit had it not been for the saviour. Saravan had been dipping in and out of consciousness and could hardly remember the events of that particular day, but he had created a mental image of the kind gentleman who had taken concern for the dying child on the streets. Saravan had imagined his saviour as a man with balding hair and a pot belly and a huge smile on his face, just like his own. He had imagined him as having red stained teeth as a result of having chewed on betel leaves and paan, he had imagined him as having a deep laugh which emanated from somewhere deep in his rotund belly. Saravan was almost spot on as far as the physical appearances go. What Saravan will never know is that his 'saviour' was none other than Chota Fatir, a leading don of the kidney trade in the state of Karnataka. Chota Fatir was dissapointed when he found out that Saravan's kidneys could not be harvested as they had been through too many rough days.

Saravan had then been abandoned on the roadside by his saviour and had been picked up by a constable. Though Saravan has no memory of the constable, he ought to be more thankful towards him rather than Chota Fatir, because, the constable only wished to pin a petty crime on Saravan to close a case of his, he had no evil intentions such as harvesting kidneys.

When Saravan awoke from his stupor, he found himself in a state sponsored remand home for deviant children. The care that his posterior was provided by two or three caring gentlemen at that home impacted him so deeply that he would find it hard to be able to speak for another six months during which he would be transferred to the 'Sri Sai' orphanage.

Raghu had been experiencing intense bouts of anxiety since the morning. He kept thinking about what would happen if he were to not get the job. There weren't many companies hiring outsiders into top level positions, if he were to miss this opportunity, he would be forced to join elsewhere at a much lower position. Mrs. Shanmugam had forced Raghu to go to the temple with her where she bragged to the priest about her son and managed to somehow increase the anxiety of her son by displaying utter confidence in Raghu's abilities.

After having gone through his resume the eleventh time while looking into the mirror, he decided to take a break and that was when he walked into the living room to find Saravan. After having vented his frustration, he returned to his room to check his attire one last time.

Raghu was one of the last to be called in to the interview. His nervousness had been steadily building as he sat in the foyer studying each of his competitors as they walked in to the interview room. He tried studying their emotions and expressions as they walked out of the room, but that only increased his feeling of foreboding and doom.

When the receptionist finally called out his name, he was so strung up that he literally jumped out of his seat.

As he entered the room, he remembered the self help books that had stressed on the importance of establishing a rapport with the interviewers. Raghu looked at each one in the eye while maintaining a confident gait towards them. As he looked at the third man seated on the right next to the lady in the blue dress, he received a warm smile from Saravan who welcomed him and pointed invitingly at the chair meant for him. “Hello Mr. Raghu, please meet our CEO, Mr. Saravan who wanted to be personally present during this interview, I hope you understand the important nature of the job position that we have to offer.” said the lady in the blue dress.

Raghu simply sputtered out a muted response. Saravan looked at Raghu in the eye and said, “Mr. Raghu, I am willing to forget the incident that occured this morning, I request you to be calm and composed during this interview as I believe that you are one of the frontrunners for this job based on my preliminary assessment of your CV.”

Saravan had had difficulty when he first moved into Sri Sai orphanage, but when he finally opened up, his teachers were amazed by his sharp mind. Saravan had had no difficulty obtaining a scholarship for his college education. Though he had been offered a seat in IIM Bangalore, he turned it down, prefering to start a consultancy service with a friend of his. His teachers back at the orphanage were not surprised when Saravan's start up became one of the biggest consultancy companies of India in a few short years. But they were indeed surprised when Saravan turned up one day at the orphanage and volunteered to collect donations. His friend playfully said that Saravan was such a big miser that to avoid donating cash from his own pocket, he had volunteered to do the door to door collection. However, his friend too knew about the monthly sums of money that enriched the coffers of the orphanage were from Saravan's personal bank account.

Raghu was indeed the most experienced and qualified guy for the job and Saravan made sure that Raghu was selected for the position. Saravan knew better than to perpetuate hate and irrationality. Besides, he had never mixed business with emotions. Raghu went home that night, removed the poster of Jimmi Hendrix from his wall and replaced it with a blown up photo of his new favorite rockstar, Saravan.

2009-03-06T12:34:00.005+05:30

Lost Minds

The King of the Dead stood atop his pedestal
His drones milled around, drinking in words of venom
Ages ago, the King had killed the minds of his minions
Though he permitted them to keep their hollow skulls
into which He filled as he pleased.

Far across the distant horizon
A sparkling mind arose, competing with the sun
The King awoke in his Kingdom of Darkness
and beheld the fiery Soul's heroic attempts;
As he plodded through the surrounding muck
And became embattled with beasts most fearsome
that attempted to steal his flaming core

Persist he did and reached he the gates
of a fortress most dark that the Sun balked
but the light of reason pervaded the Dark
of manic proportions a battle ensued
to gain a quarter, none managed
The battle rages relentlessly, incessantly
Some remain drones, while some have new minds
To foretell of the result, I know not
But be thee wise to choose the side that befits you!

Alampoondi

2009-02-09T15:58:00.001+05:30

Winter in Alampoondi signified slightly chilly nights and misty mornings. The month of December brought with it the promise of a good harvest and the Tamil month of Margazhi- the month said to correspond with the morning hour of the Gods, the month in which the fiery chariot of the Sun turns around at the tropic of Capricorn and returns back to the Northern hemisphere, the month in which all the temples open at four in the morning and loudspeakers blare out songs and bhajans.

Alampoondi is a tiny village in Tamil Nadu situated near the famous forts of Gingee where Raja Desingh had valiantly resisted the onslaught of the Mughal invaders from the North only to be treacherously betrayed by a close aide. The village is also home to an ancient temple of Shiva, the destroyer; it is said to be an ancient spot where great men had lived in penance, though in India, it is indeed hard to find a village without a temple or some sort of an association with ancient mythology.

Alampoondi also holds a close place in my heart as this village is where my ancestral home is. My great grandfather moved to this village at the age of twenty five with his wife and two children in tow. My grandfather was at the tender age of 7 when his family had made this transition from Pilasur. Pilasur happens to be nearly a 100 Km from Alampoondi, and during those times of joint families, it was uncommon for people to break away and move out of one’s village.

My grandfather had never revealed to anyone the true story of our forefathers, until one starry night when all his children and grandchildren had gathered in the home built by his father in Alampoondi, he made a suggestion which made all the children squeal with delight and caused the adults to groan. He suggested that we have dinner on the terrace under the starry gallery. The children gladly ran up the stairs carrying the pots, pans and the various other dishes that were handed out to them. The older children were put in charge of arranging the “hurricane” lamps which used kerosene and made a rushing sound which sounded very much like a strongly blowing wind. The mats were set in place and the ladies of the family got the children under control.

I feel that the most satisfying part of any good meal isn’t while it is being eaten, but after it has been completely consumed and the feaster is resting blissfully with no worries and a beeda or paan in his mouth. Hence, when we had finished dinner and the dishes had all been cleared up, we were all resting on the terrace lying on the coir mats staring at the stars through the wispy fingers of clouds. That was when my grandfather told us why his father had moved from Pilasur. It had been as a result of a family feud with his elder brother. Apparently, the elder brother had demanded a greater share of property than had been assigned to him. My great grandfather had had to listen to many harsh words which were unwarranted which led to him moving away, being the peace loving man that he had been. In short, the behavior of his brother had disgusted him and being an honourable and righteous man, he could not stand the insult to himself and his wife causing him to breakaway and set up home in Alampoondi.

My grandfather had grown up in Alampoondi but he left for the city, Madras when he turned 17 in search of employment. After many years had passed and after having retired and having married away all his children, he returned to Alampoondi to buy back his father’s home. He didn’t move back there entirely though, as he realized that his life and everything in it was now in Madras. So, every weekend, grandma and he would travel the 150 odd kilometers to live the simple village life. They thought of it as a retreat where they could enjoy a peaceful weekend with none of the hustle bustle of city life. Soon it became a trend for all of us to visit them during their stay at Alampoondi, we as children used to enjoy the two day stay.

It was during the month of December when I visited my grandparents all by myself. I am the eldest among all my cousins and I was an engineering student then, my semester breaks would never coincide with the school vacations and that was how I found myself all alone roaming the verdant fields of Alampoondi. One of my good childhood friends and a resident farmer had made me promise to come visit him during the day’s work, he had enthusiastically told me to expect something fun. Expecting the unexpected, I walked towards his fields. After all, it had been Venkatesh who had taught me to swim by pushing me into one of the gigantic wells dotting the fields.

As his field came into view, I could discern a huge hulking shape moving around, as I approached, the sound of a diesel motor whirring made its way towards me. Venkatesh, proudly showed me his “combined harvester” which was capable of harvesting fields infinitely faster than the time it took for humans to achieve it manually.

The day had been a tiring one, I had spent it helping out Venkatesh on his farm, though the machine made things easier, there had still been a considerable amount of manual labour involved which took its toll on me by the end of the day. The refreshing bath that we had taken by plunging into one of the wells did help reduce the fatigue and I found myself sitting at my doorstep at sunset. As I stared into the fields which were awash in an orange glow, I noticed a stooping figure approaching our home. A black dog ran alongside him, it seemed to be leading the way, helping the old man navigate the mud path bordering two fields. I looked away at the distant mountain of Annamalai and was totally absorbed in watching the sun’s last few rays light up the peak of the mountain when I was startled by the sound of an old man’s wheezing cough. I looked to my left to find the old man standing quite close, intently staring at my face. “Are you the vadyar’s son?” enquired the old man. (Vadyar means teacher in Tamil.)

“No, I’m his great grandson, who are you?” said I staring into his wrinkled old face.

“I need to speak to Vadyar Saar or his son, could you please go inside and fetch him for me?” said the old man with a toothless smile on his face.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are. Vadyar Saar is no more, he would have to be at least a hundred and ten to be alive now! His son though is resting inside and I can fetch him for you if you like.”

“That would be nice, tell him that I’m an old relative of his, tell him that I have seen him as a very young child, that he once pulled my beard and had playfully called me Dhaadi. I am sure that he remembers. Who are you young man?”

“I’m Shankar, Vadyar Saar’s great grandson. Nice to meet you, what is your name thatha?”

“You too can call me Dhaadi, I see that you are an intelligent young man, what are you doing with your life?”

“I’m in college now, doing an engineering course. Which village are you from thatha?”

“I… I cannot face him once again. I… Listen, do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“Yes, a younger brother, but he is not here now. I came here by myself.”

“No, no, brothers must never let anything come in between them. Make sure that whatever it is, you resolve it. Go back and apologize for having quarreled!”

“We didn’t quarrel, I am…” but the old man had turned around and disappeared into the darkness, the dog’s barks could be heard echoing through the night air.

“That seems strange.” remarked my grandfather when I recanted the details of my interaction with the hermit like man.

“He asked me to call him Dhaadi, he said that that was what you used to call him while playfully tugging at his beard when you were a child.”

“Ha! Ha! No that can’t be! How do you know that? I’ve never told anyone about Jai Ram Maama except for that little story on the terrace the night we had dinner up there. You must be making these things up! Come on, tell me, you made it all up didn’t you?” yelled my grandfather.

“No thatha, he even had a black dog which ran along with a limp. He told me all this. Who is Jai Ram Maama?”

“My God! It can’t be! Jai Ram Maama died a few years before father!”

“Thatha! Please tell me who Jai Ram Maama is!” I cried out though I knew very well what answer I was to receive.

“Jai Ram was my father’s brother, the one who drove away our family from Pilasur! May Lord Shiva help him find peace soon!”

That night, I called my brother and spoke for an hour. I even called all my cousins and friends the next day, I guess silly things may sometimes build an impregnable wall between people, what I have tried in life ever after that incident has been to ensure that my human side is not corrupted by my materialistic lust.

Episode #402- The Mumbai Incident

2008-11-29T15:37:00.001+05:30

The twists and turns of a television serial pale in comparison to what is playing itself out in Mumbai.That a group of twenty people could hold a nation of a billion citizens to ransom is not as shocking as the fact that we are as nonchalant as we were before!

Sure, the media circus made the usual hue and cry, the PM made a show of strength by demanding to see the ISI chief in his office, our elected leaders made their usual appearances in front of the TV cameras and made their speeches, everyone celebrated the resilient "Mumbaikar Spirit" and the media was present to capture every moment of the madness and broadcast it to a billion viewers who kept tuning into their TV sets throughout the three days while chewing on popcorn and SMSing their views to the news channels about how all this could have been avoided if the elected representatives that they themselves helped put into office had been less corrupt and had concentrated more on their jobs.

All of us seem to be shocked for the moment about how vulnerable we were, it was so easy, all that the crazy psychos had to do was to walk into the hotels. The fuckers after having blown up CST simply traipsed away and ambled into the adjoining hospital! I am outraged, I am also equally confused. I simply cannot understand how it is that these men could so nonchalantly shoot rat-ta-ta-ta and kill people that they had had nothing to do with. Are we mere animals, are we really nothing better than our ancestral primates, but just slightly more evolved?

The BJP has been able to destabilise the peace of this nation over the past few months with ease. Advani & Co. had to just stand back and watch as their right wing fundamentalist cousins went on a rampage killing, looting and raping in Orissa. Then came along our TV news channel's darling, the champion of Marathi Manoos, Raj Thackeray, who in my honest opinion is just a misguided joker who has been given more air coverage on the TV networks than he deserves. I believe that he deserves as much air time on our TV networks as my posterior, no let me correct myself, my bum deserves more air time because at least when it makes a sound, it just stinks in the physical sense, when Raj Thackeray makes a sound, it stinks on all the planes, including the spiritual, mental and what not!

I have nothing personal against the goondas of the MNS, and I am sure that they understand. After all, they manage to keep their party affairs separate from their personal lives. They drive away the "North Indians", but they drive around in TATA cars, and Jamshedji Tata happened to be a Parsee who himself was an immigrant. Why even the MNS activists are immigrants, did their ancestors not once make the transition from the trees to the ground? Does that mean that the organisms which were terrestrial before the transformation of our arboreal ancestors have the right to drive us off the surface of the planet?

Moving onto the LET, I have only one thing to say. Pathetic! The top master minds of the LET cannot fool me for one nanosecond! Do they think that I am as gullible as their psychotic minions! I am not ready to believe for one moment that these pigs truly feel that they are doing God's work! Bullshit! They have political, financial and other agendas on their minds and their idiotic minions blindly carry out their dastardly designs.

Lastly, I appeal to everyone to please keep a sane head on your shoulders. Go out now and kiss your Muslim/Hindu neighbour, spread love and peace out, don't give these pigs the victory that they desire!

Where lies Salvation?

2008-11-29T15:34:00.000+05:30

Where lies Salvation?
Where lies bliss?
Within your beloved’s embrace?
Or at the height of musical strains?
I wish a path were clearly marked
but ‘tis not so and I don’t fret
for the journey is preparatory
thy destination not a surety.

At the ecstatic heights of the Himalayas
surrounded by unfathomable secrets
plunging deep into crevasses,
do we find enlightenment?

Or does one need to look within
and find the path emblazoned
on one’s heart, lit with neon lights
marking the route, all one needs
is to take the first step.

Welcome to my mind

2008-11-01T19:41:00.003+05:30

“Hi, welcome to my head, hope you don’t mind the mess in here. That song that you can hear in the background, try listening to it. It is one of my favorite songs of all time. Its called ‘I’m a Rock’ by Simon and Garfunkel. Sometimes I have felt just like that. Like there is no point in life as we know it. When the feeling overpowers me, I’m left wondering why we are, what we are and why we do the stuff that we do.

Sometimes, I feel like it is all pointless, that there is no point to existence but to live and then die. What else is there? All of us go through life, we have our ups and downs, and we struggle and work and strive until our families are well settled and safe and then what? We just die, all of us. After having led a life full of struggle, no matter how rich or poor you are, regardless of your societal status, you would have had to struggle through some part of your life. Even if you had been a rich kid with all the creature comforts, the mere fact that you had to live a life with no point to it would be reason enough to depress you.

I have been depressed by the fact that there is no point to existence. But on other occasions, I have been awed by existence. On a few occasions, to such an extent that I felt my entire being touched by everything around me.

It happened on the balcony of my hostel. Our campus is quite beautiful and during the evenings, you find flocks of exotic birds flying around. On that day, everything seemed perfect, the setting sun looked like a giant orange laddoo, the birds chirping in the trees seemed to be singing a song and the breeze started dancing to the tune. It was then that I felt this profound feeling, like I was just a small part of this awesome and beautiful universe. I could sort of feel the cosmic dance all around me. It felt like I could sense the entire universe all around me and I felt like an integral part of it all. The strength of the feeling was so intense that I had tears in my eyes.

Moments like this have happened on a few more occasions, and one memorable time was when I was in one of the woods surrounding Nainital from where the Himalayan range was visible. Nature wields such a powerful influence over me that I would even give up the heights of orgasm to be in the beautiful environs of a place like Nainital.
But after having given this subject ample amount of thought, I have come to a conclusion which shall stand until I come across evidence contrary to its implications. You see, life is amazing enough for it to justify its existence without having to give you a point to its existence. You get me? Life need not give you a point or a reason for its existence because the mere amazing, awe inspiring, varied beauty and brutality of life is sufficient without one having to seek out the point to all existence. Though one may still go along that path, I’ve decided to stop treading down that road and instead, simply enjoy the moment and experience everything that life has to offer.

Right, I see that you are getting impatient and are dying to get out of my mind, so here goes, initiating ejection process… Bye!”

Aimless

2008-11-01T19:34:00.001+05:30

Rusted rudder, sails turn as they please
Captain dozes, his life lays ahead of him
but he cares not for the ship, its direction
“Which way do I point it?”, he cries
“I have no direction in life! Am I to direct the ship?”
“Let the current carry us as it pleases, let the wind
blow us where it cares, let random chance take us
hopefully to exciting places, I shall not touch the wheel!
bring on the dancers onto the deck, where is my band?
its time to celebrate, the moon is out again, the Wind
whispers, Listen! It’s the fairies blowin in the wind
listen carefully, and you will hear them singin!”

Why?

2008-10-15T21:03:00.004+05:30

This poem is dedicated to my friend Rachit, he has found himself in such situations on more occasions than he would care to admit! Rachit, if you are reading this, i would like to thank you for the inspiration that you provided me with :)

Why do you make me feel this way?
To you it seems like its all fun and games
You laugh when I look at you like
A puppy dog imploring you to look
Into my eyes, But you just laugh and say
You are so cute, where did you learn that look?

I pretend to play the game, inside I ache
If only I could for once pour my heart out
You would know, the depth of my love
But my brain goes kaput when you are near
My heart blocks my larynx, gastronomic somersaults
Prevent me from expressing what my soul wishes to sing

Can’t you discern the turmoil within me?
Why can’t you show me a sign that we are meant to be?
I’ll never pluck the courage, and Dutch courage won’t do,
I don’t want anything to slur the purity of my feelings
For eons then if I must, I shall wait for a sign from you
Until then, I am doomed to be the imploring pup by your feet

Idiot's Kiss

2008-09-14T10:27:00.001+05:30

I went through life without once feeling
The strength of the greatest emotion
Many friends were just that, friends
Never had I felt an echo from the depths
Of my being, a note mingling
With perfect harmony had escaped my grasp

Now I see you, O perfection incarnate!
My essence boils over at the mere sight
Of your sweet eyes, my mind and heart
Have finally concurred
I yearn to gaze at you
Into your eyes I wish to stare
And never shall I have another care

But woe the day that you
Accepted that idiot’s kiss
I leave now to seek bliss
At the foothills of the Siwaliks
Beyond your horizon
And beyond your infectious gaze
I go now, I go now…

Nightmare

2008-09-05T02:21:00.002+05:30

A weak tendril reaches out through the foggy veil
A weak tendril desperately trying to make contact
The dreamy world had cast its charms
Ugly reality had no right to be here
This went on for more time than
My foggy mind can recollect
Until finally the chirping birds and the sunlight
Filtering into my room awakened me with a jolt
The tendril caught hold of my mind
In its vice like grip, terror took root
I screamed when I looked at the time
I ran and ran and ran till I was dressed
I must have set a world record I’m sure
Locking my room, I tore down the empty corridors
Not a soul around, they all had left already!
Is the exam over? Will they let me in?
I wondered in a feverish dreamy state!
I awoke with a jolt and to my chagrin
My situation had not changed, reality it seems
Had decided to play along with my dream-weaver
The clock made me howl!
This time though I was prepared
I pulled the sheets around me tighter
And bid adieu to reality

Indebted- An ode to my family

2008-08-17T11:11:00.003+05:30

The swift river flowed around me, a reassuring cool embrace.
With power to sculpt mountains, she instead chose to sculpt me.
With energy to erode away entire countries,
she instead chose to erode my vices.
With ability to awe the universe,
she instead stayed by my side and made me, me.

The rock that stood rising up to the stars, always by my side he stood.
Never a moment's rest he sought when I needed his guidance and support.
Unchanging integrity,an example was set,
for me to follow was but another step.
No matter how dark the day had dawned, the rock stood solid by my side.
With his peak among the stars and galaxies, never did he choose to overwhelm me. Humble and pious moments did we share,
he inspiring me to flow in the stream of life
with integrity and flair.

My constant companion, a true friend.
A rare bond that we share
that eternity cannot send to oblivion.
A comfort and an aide to banish boredom,
on dreamy summer afternoons and chilly morning jaunts.
Physical distances do not matter,
imprints of these special people reside in my soul
and will remain
after this universe has seen its last star.

The Second Class Coach

2008-08-14T23:03:00.003+05:30

Rosy Kutti knew that it would be impossible to get a seat on the train at such short notice, but her daughter had called her again and as usual she had cried over the phone. Especially in the last month, the distress calls from her daughter had increased in frequency. Maybe, if Rosy had let Mary continue with her studies, probably they would all have been better off. She had hoped that her son, Ebenizer would one day grow up to be a great doctor or an engineer and would pull the family out of the hole. He grew up to be a drunkard and gambled all the money that Rosy earned by working twelve hours a day as a maid cleaning houses and washing vessels and clothes.

The train was crowded just as she had expected it to be. What with all the holidays coming up, people were going home to their families. Though she only had an open ticket, she decided to take her chances in the reserved coach. She wasn’t the only one, the aisles were choked with people and the TTE who was making his slow way across the train would have on any other occasion thrown the open ticket holders out of the coach, but today, he was in no mood to do his job right as that would entail a lot more effort than was humanly possible.

Rosy found a comfortable spot to stand at. She positioned herself next to a compartment which was predominantly occupied by families who were traveling together. She stood next to the backrest of one of the seats and leaned her tired back against it.

Rosy had decided that Mary had been through enough, she couldn’t allow her daughter to be punished for no reason by her insane drunkard of a husband. She would now be able to channelize all the anger that she failed to express towards her son in the direction of her son-in-law. Besides, she had been spending too many Christmases in the company of her drunk son, this time, she wanted her daughter by her side when they held the special mass that she loved so dearly as it meant that she could sing all her favorite songs that she had learnt at Sunday school as a child.

The seat that Rosy stood right next to had a harried young father seated on it. Shanmugan was traveling for the first time in his life in the second class compartment as the first class had been booked months ago. His wife and his two year old daughter were next to him on the inner seat.

Shanmugan was not happy with the situation at hand. He had been holding his piss for the last hour because he couldn’t imagine how he would be able to make his way through the crowded aisle. His wife pointed out that the vendors from the pantry car were doing alright. Following his wife’s advice, he followed in the wake of a ‘bhajji’ seller and managed to reach the toilets at the end of the compartment after fifteen minutes of jostling. By the time he came back, Shanmugan was not at all a happy man! He was a successful business man who made big bucks, this ought not to be the way for him to travel! He had suggested chartering a helicopter, but his wife had objected saying that he should stop frittering away his cash and probably start a savings account for their daughter’s college tuition. Shanmugan had wisecracked asking if she wanted him to save up cash to buy a college, but to no avail and there he was, in a crowded, hot and smelly compartment of the largest rail service in the world!

Rosy had taken Shanmugan’s seat when he had been gone. She had been working weekends too for the past two months and today had been an especially arduous day which had begun at three in the morning. Shanmugan though was in a dark mood and took immense offence at Rosy having taken his seat. Didn’t he have enough troubles in his life already? What sort of a twisted mind was responsible for his fate?

What irritated Shanmugan even more was that now he would have to fight his conscience and that too after a very exhausting duel with his sphincter muscles. Rosy was an elderly woman who seemed like she could really use the seat more than anyone else in the coach, but Shanmugan had always been able to silence the voice of his conscience and he did it in his own inimitable style. His father had taught him well, there can be no conscience in a business man’s life. Good advice, Shanmugan had followed it from day one and had managed to dethrone his father from the business and had taken over the empire.

“Are you crazy woman? Get out of here or I’ll call the TTE!” shouted Shanmugan. As he shouted, his daughter who had taken a special liking to Rosy and had snuggled up in her lap woke up with a start.

Rosy glared at him and silently got off the seat, she knew better than to argue with these rich snotty types, she had worked for too many of them and knew that they were self centric and it would be meaningless to try to hold a civil conversation with them, they would simply snub you.

Rosy went back to her standing position and the train moved on. Shanmugan sat down grumbling and muttering loudly about all the dregs of the society giving everyone a hard time. Rosy chose not to reply and simply stood next to Shanmugan’s seat.

Shanmugan took his daughter onto his lap and the rocking motion of the train gradually cradled the little one back to sleep. As she slept, her little head slowly came to rest upon Rosy’s hip and the tender mother in Rosy involuntarily put her hand over the girl’s head and slowly patted her, the little girl’s hand reached out in a state of drowsiness and seeked out Rosy’s hand. “Amma” cried out the girl. Shanmugan jerked in his seat and so did his wife. Their daughter had spoken for the first time and she was doing it again! There it was, she said “Amma” again! Rosy continued patting her little head and the girl looked up into Rosy’s eyes and repeated. Shanmugan in spite of himself had tears in his eyes. He didn’t know what to say, but Rosy just looked at him and smiled in her usual serene manner and all Shanmugan could do was to return the smile.
The train moved on…

Love

2008-07-28T21:46:00.000+05:30

Confusion reigned supreme. Emotions collided against each other, the brain just gave up and quit during the height of the crisis. The hormones raged without control, there was no holding back, common sense it seems had taken leave of its senses. The second party involved too seemed to be completely taken over by the pheromonal aura surrounding the surreal environs around the two who seemed like the deer and doe who stumble across each other in the lush green jungle and suddenly realize the existence of a part of their self which seemed to have been dormant until that fated moment. Is this what is commonly referred to as “Love”? Or is it simply a phenomenon dictated by evolutionary necessity for the survival of the species? Is it a misguided mingling of the two young hearts who are unable to see beyond the illusion generated and cast by the “Master Galnds”? Could it be the anticipation of pleasure beyond imagination that has driven one to seek out the other? Could it be that one has misinterpreted the true intentions of the other?

What have the Fates planned out for the two? Is it a sadistic viewpoint of something that is widely held to be an innocent and pure form of Love? Or are all the observations simply the tip of the proverbial iceberg?

The world does see many examples of failure, usually, the two would go through a tempestuous phase sooner rather than later and it would leave the two scarred deep. The illusion suddenly shattered, the ugly reality revealed- the reality so real and so far removed from the stratospheres previously occupied by the two that it causes fear.

Fear of the true lives that had seemed like something from a world in a far of galaxy.

However, some of the lucky ones continue to enjoy the purity of their innocent relationship never realising that they are puppets wielded by Mother Nature. But some are able to see through the illusion and still remain strong. They are able to stand by each other not in anticipation of the earthly pleasures, the strength of their relationship lies not in the earthly layers but far up in the heavens, where even after the truth is known the two remain one and never shall they be twain.

Nainital

2008-06-25T15:31:00.000+05:30

My first impression of Nainital wasn't anything positive, or should I say that I wasn't in a position to make any judgement as I sat nausea ridden in the cab that bore us towards the higher altitudes. Only the memory of how a lecturer had pronounced the word Kathgodam kept me going. "Kathmandu!" he had said!

We were in Nainital for a survey camp that was part of our course, so the entire Civil Engg. batch was in Nainital and we were staying at this resort called "Fair Light Trails" which also has Youth Hostelling facilities. If at all you are planning on visiting Nainital, don't stay at some hotel within the city. You won't be able to appreciate the true beauty of this piece of heaven on Earth if you stay in the Mall road. I advise you to get a room at some place situated a little way away from the city, our resort especially was ideally located and it offered an amazing view of the city and was surrounded by forests and hills.

The taxi drivers tend to rip you off, so ask the locals to direct you along the short cut route to "Tanki Point" when you are in an adventurous mood. It will take you about 40 minutes to climb all the way to "Tanki Point" from where you can choose to go to 2 different places or you can choose to rest at "Rana's Tea Stall" which is owned by a very talkative Mr. Rana. From "Tanki" you can either walk a little way along the highway and you will end up at "Himalaya View Point". An amazing treat for your eyes awaits you there, just make sure to go there on a clear skied day or you won't see a thing. If you walk further ahead, beyond "Himalaya View Point", you will find a on the right side of the highway, a few steps leading up to a temple. Pray there if you are the religious type but don't forget to explore the narrow trail that starts off from behind the temple, it will lead you onto a beautiful ridge and it is quite dangerous too, so take your hiking boots along. From the risge, you can hear the sound of rushing water, chirping birds all around you and if you sit there silently enough for a little time, you will find the little birds coming out of all their hiding places and going about their business as if you were not even sitting there.

Also, from "Tanki", you can go to "China Peak". It is a 3 km trek through a forest trail that gets very steep along the way. When you reach the top and see the forest department's canteen, don't assume that you have reached the peak, you need to go around the canteen and further ahead for about 500 meters more and you will find yourself on top of the world. From there, you get to see the Nainital valley as well as the various other valleys all around. When we went there, it was cloudy and clouds were gently rolling into all the valleys. One cloud blew up close towards us and when lightning started flitting across the sky, we got really spooked. We could almost feel the lightning charge, the air around us got ionised and we could hear the sparkling noise that static makes when it comes near your hair!

If you have a lot of time on your hands, you can undertake a 11 km trek through the jungles. When you are climbing up towards "China Peak" you will encounter a board almost halfway up which says that you have climbed 1.3 km and there is still 1.7km left to go. At this point, you will see another path proceeding to the right. This leads to "Kilbury" forest rest house. The path snakes along beautiful forests and is heavenly to walk through. We found a tiny waterfall along the way too and followed the trickle of water upstream. Be mindful of the leeches here though! Once you reach "Kilbury", keep going down and once you hit the highway, walk towards Pangot. From Pangot, you can hire a taxi to take you and your aching legs back to Nainital, if you choose to walk back, then you should consider yourself capable of living in the wild and you ought to pat yourself on your back!

On the mall road, visit the Municipal Library. It is open during the mornings and the evenings. It has a sizeable collection of Fiction and also Sci-fi (I found Isaac Asimov there!). "Bada Market" had many shops with awesome jalebis, and "Cyberia" on mall road had some really sinful pastries.

In case you decide not to walk up to "Tanki" point, you can hire a small cab for about 200 Rs. or a van for 250 to 300 Rs. Well thats all I've got to say about Nainital for now, but I would like to add that my 15 days there were probably the most memorable. Of all my traveling experiences, Nainital gets the peacock throne in the Durabar of my memories. I loved the place so much that I have decided to go back someday and build my home there. I'll probably retire there after 60-70 years, that is, if I'm still stalking the planet!

Delhi

2008-05-29T20:02:00.000+05:30

The following photos were taken at Delhi when we had gone there to attend the IIT Delhi's tech fest. We got through to the finals in an event in which we had to build a structure as tall as possible with erasers. We were doing pretty well until one of my teammates knocked the tower down with barely 5 minutes to go. We hussled and put together a hasty tower that looked more like Ronald Weasley's home, but without the magic to hold it up!

We then took time off and traveled throughout the city, went to Palika Bazar. My friend got ripped off there, he bought a set of 4 branded deodorizers for 80 bucks and later on found that the canisters contained mostly keorosene! We then went to India Gate and had the time of our lives there as the photos will show you, we freely fraternized with the salesmen out there and they obligingly posed for our photo shots even though they knew that we weren't going to but anything.

Connaught Place was next on our itinerary, after feasting, we returned to our IITD dorm. Throughout our outing, we didn't once use a private taxi or autorikshaw! The public transport was so amazing at least in those parts of Delhi where we roamed about. With the expansion of the metro, it should only get better as long as the they don't go and mess it up by introducing half baked hare brained schemes like the BRT.

Philosophers

2008-05-26T17:18:00.000+05:30

For those of you who have read Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens, this para that I quote would most likely be very familiar. It has most definitely been seared into my memory. For those of you who haven't had the good fortune to read the book, I will have to explain the circumstances leading up to this para.
Oliver Twist, orphaned at birth by the death of his frail, peniless and homeless mother had been brought up by the parish authorities. After spending his initial years being underfed and receiving absolutely no love of any kind, he is sent away to become an undertaker's apprentice. After having been brought into his new master's home for the first time, the lady of the house very generously offers Oliver a few pieces of left over meat that she had intended to feed the dog which she couldn't find at the moment and hence it came to pass that Oliver was offered the viands. At this moment in the story, the author remarks and I quote:- "I wish some well fed philosopher, whose meat and drink turn to gall within him, whose blood is ice, whose heart is iron, could have seen Oliver Twist clutching at the dainty viands that the dog had neglected. I wish he could have witnessed the horrible avidity with which Oliver tore the bits asunder with all the ferocity of famine. There is only one thing that I should like better- and that would be to see the philosopher making the same sort of meal himself, with the same relish".

How many times have we seen men offering philosophical retorts when instead, their blood ought to be boiling and ready to burst forth and try and solve the injustices? How many times have we heard ourselves saying, "The world is like that and nothing can be done about it"?

In the adjoining picture, Oliver Twist can be seen pleading for more gruel at the parish house for orphans. He was seen as a villain and called a troublemaker and locked up for this! Now its difficult to imagine all this but crimes against children are still occurring at an alarming rate. In an astonishing study, 4 out of 5 boys were found to have been sexually or physically harassed in some way in India, I am not aware of the rate at which such incidents occur in other countries but I'm sure that it is a universal problem that all of us face. Children are repeatedly seen as soft targets by fiends in society and unless we bring in stricter laws and punish these offenders strictly, they are not going to be mitigated. How many of you do not shed tears inwardly when you see bone thin children on the roads begging for one morsel. Traveling in our trains is enough to enlighten the most insulated of us. It is not enough that we simply educate and train an army of engineers and scientists and doctors. We should also make sure that they are humans and are ready to give back to society once they have established themselves. It is not enough that our politicians simply pay lip service, while a Ramadoss is vociferously trying to improve the health of the nation through loud propaganda against smoking and drinking on screen, there are millions out there who don't have access to the most basic of health care, drinking water or hygienic living conditions. Rest not my friend until you have helped thy neighbor, rest not until you can look into the mirror and say satisfactorily that you have lived life honorably.

Oldie Fogey

2008-04-19T12:57:00.000+05:30

The following is an article that I wrote for my college newsletter after being convinced of the fact that over-conservatism was not just the core driving philosophy of the institute admin but the very life breath that they chose to live by! Though the article wasn't actually published due to the over censoriousness of the editor, the following will give you a glimpse of the life that we as students lead at our National Institute of Technology, Jalandhar.

Our institution trains us to be professionals, prepares us for being compatible with the corporate world and improves our interpersonal skills. The students passing out of this institute are compatible with many organisations which are internationally renowned, such as the 'Shiv Sena', the RSS and so on.

During our technical or cultural fests, we are taught important life lessons, such as the one taught to yours truly during the closing ceremony of Utkansh'08 (our cultural festival). When I tried to speak to a girl in the auditorium, one of the students from the disciplinary committee caught me by the scruff of my neck and gracefully threw me away from the girl. However, I don't blame him, he was probably correct in doing what he did. If he hadn't taken the emergency actions that he did, who knows what could have happened. I mean, I could have actually spoken to the girl and then all hell would have broken loose. Imagine, a boy speaking to a girl, what a tragedy, what would have befallen the poor soul? She would have been tainted for life, after all, a guy actually speaking to her would have destroyed her and marred her, leaving behind a scar that would never heal. Unimaginable right?

Putting behind this incident, and thanking the Lord for having sent forth one of his servants to intervene on behalf of the girl's reputation I moved on with campus life.

That is when the second miracle took place and I'm until this day still thankful to the Lord! Now, as you all are aware, our institution has a newsletter that goes by the name 'Capslock'. This newsletter published an article about how the gate timings of the girls' hostels are oppressive and are regressive and not at all in sync with the times. Can you believe the impunity with which such a suggestion was made! Shouldn't the newsletter team be lined up and shot at? The mere idea of making such a suggestion seems so repugnant that I felt like retching the moment I read the article! Imagine, girls being allowed all that freedom! However, the institution it seems has learnt its basics correctly, because the girls have been put back where they belong, behind bars. How could we allow adults with rational minds to have as much freedom as to be able to walk around freely within the campus after college hours? I shudder at the mere idea! The girls could get into all kinds of trouble, they could get lynched within the campus, their modesty could be attacked, and they would get themselves into all kinds of difficult situations and then who would be forced to bite the bullet? The institution did not however allow the nonsensical suggestions of the newsletter to confuse their well laid out plans and glory be to thy name 'O Lord of Lords for having intervened on the part of the poor creatures that are more commonly called 'girls'.

When we graduate from here, we would be adequately trained to be able to easily and efficiently avoid and ignore our female co-workers. Who would want to work with female colleagues? The very tendril of thought is so very nauseating that I have broken into a cold sweat while typing this sentence.

Hence, the institution has taken adequate steps to make sure that interaction between the sexes is maintained to the bare minimum. The training that we receive here is not matched by any other place on earth, except for maybe Al' Queda. Hence we the students must be proud of the fact that our institution is second to only the best, but only by a small margin!

Humanity

2008-04-18T19:36:00.000+05:30

'Schindler's List' is one movie that I would strongly recommend to everyone. The very core of the movie deals with how propaganda and a single man's madness can turn humans en masse into blood thirsty cannibals, worse than all that hell may hold! But even when the whole world seems to have gone mad, and wrong seems to be right (after all, isn't whatever society accepts considered to be correct?) just because everyone seems to be doing what shouldn't even be thought about, Schindler goes right ahead with what he feels is right.

The movie made me cry and left me in a very horrified state, especially after the scene where the women are rounded up and sent into the showers at Auschwitz. One can only imagine what the warders and the prison guards and the others involved in the whole project could have been telling themselves, to do anything of that sort on a scale of that sort to another sentient being is unimaginable. Yet it happens, again and again. Not just in Germany, but all over the world. We have wars and mobs and caste wars the serial killers and rapists roaming around over the metropolises of the world.

Back home in India, female babies are not even allowed to see the light of day, minors are increasingly becoming the soft targets. The crowning glory of it all is that the capital of the nation has earned the sobriquet "Rape Capital"!

Have you noticed the general apathy towards everything that is not immediately going to affect us or our close family members? Politicians responsible for running the country could not even maintain quorum when inflation was being discussed. Its time that we all learned a little bit of humaneness or just admit that we are basically animals and animalistic trappings shall stay with us as long as we as a race exist.

Home Food

2007-01-03T09:14:00.000+05:30

What is it about the home cooked food that we all miss once we fly out of the nest? Do we love it because it provides us a sense of security and reminds us of the insulated and protective environment that we used to live in?

Well whatever it is, it is truly amazing. Now, I recently took my first few hesitant steps out of the nest, you see I got into a uni far away from home and I have had to live away from home in this hostel and though I didn't really have time to reminisce about home and hence get home sick, it was wonderful to come back home during the break and slurp the home cooked food again!

Let me introduce you to the sort of food that my mom usually cooks. I'm a South Indian, the sort of food that my family considers as part of the staple diet is things like rice, rasam, dal, curd rice, avial etc... Pardon me if you are not familiar with some of the names that I have mentioned, but the very names start the digestive juices off in my alimentary canal! The meals in South India are incomplete without rasam mixed with rice. Rasam is this spicy concoction of the juices of tamarind and tomato with pepper, chillies, and whole lot of other spices and herbs. To read a detailed article about this heavenly concoction, point your browser to the following URL: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rasam.

The thing about rasam is that if the right herbs are added, it can be a medicinal concoction that can provide a quick fix for various tiny problems. Fruits and vegetables can also be added to the rasam. My top favourites are: Milagu rasam, Mysore rasam and pineapple rasam.

Now the other things that make up a typical South Indian meal are things like curry, avial... wait a second, did you just say to yourself, "What is avial?". Whoa! You just have to try out this dish, which can float you up to cloud nine and bring you back gently to earth, or if you are a foodie like me, you might just as well choose to go on eating and never float back to earth! It is a mixture of many veggies. It is a heady mixture of yams, potatoes, beans, eggplant, drumsticks, coconuts, curds, milk, various gourds, radishes, carrots, turnips and spices. It is eaten mixed with rice and is a special dish from 'God's own Country', Kerala! Click here for the recipe.

Payasam or Kheer is a must for any festive meal to be complete. The rice payasam is a "a rice pudding typically made by boiling rice with milk and sugar. It is often flavored with cardamom and pitachios."- Wikipedia.

Now I'm off dear reader, a hot South Indian meal specially prepared by my mom is waiting to please my taste buds, so until next time, happy hunting and happy cooking.

Trains!

2007-01-02T09:32:00.000+05:30

The air whooshed past my hair as it whooshes just after the first rains of the monsoon. The green landscape whizzed past me in just the manner that a green landscape is expected to when one is looking at it from the door of a coach of a train that knows the meaning of the word speed. Cows ranging from the usual white and black to the more exotic black and white (if you are wondering what the difference is, please don't wonder as there is no difference) sat chewing their cud in the shades of the many trees that were whooshing past me, or is it whizzing past me? I was leaning out of the open door of the coach numbered A2 (the coach happened to be attached to a train at that point in time). The electricity posts on the sides of the tracks whistled past me (notice the choice of the word 'whistled', it is to denote the fact that the posts were making a whistling noise as they whistled past me) and the occasional desolate, small town railway station thundered past me. The train seemed to be treating these parodies with disdain, the station masters could only look on and hold out their green flags as if to show that they were in control, but the haughty steaming giant thundered forwards not taking notice of the diminutive figures in their khaki or their white clothes which seemed to tell a lot about the local dhobis. Cities, towns, and villages streamed past me and as I looked on, the haughty giant pulled a fast one on me (don't ask me how he did it, the man standing next to me seemed to think that he had hid it up his sleeve) and in a nanosecond even as I looked on, the landscape changed and presto, lush green forests recently washed by the rains and trees that looked like pregnant ladies as they bent in a graceful arch allowing the wind to caress them. The valley seemed to have been preparing for a ball, it appeared before me in its grand evening dress, lovely in a velvet green robe that covered her form from head to foot, although some perverts had cut away some of the covering somewhere near the foot, I tried not to look there as it was too painful and embarrassing to boot. As the train turned around a bend I could see all the way to the back, men were leaning out of all the bogies. I strained myself to keep looking at the coaches when we were all enveloped in a thick, white, dense something. I could feel the spray hitting my face as I turned to face the front, though I couldn't see anything more than three feet ahead of me, I didn't mind, I could smell the perfume of the kurinji hanging in the air which told me that we had neared our destination and I could hear the familiar hoot in front of me which told me that our haughty giant had finally been overwhelmed and was bitterly complaining about it!

A Few Thoughts

2007-01-02T09:29:00.000+05:30

A lot of religious philosophy has been put into my head, but does that explain the universe? Definitely not! After having heard quite a bit about God and life and Karma, its now my turn to write some philosophy and post some fundamental questions.

First things first, What and where is GOD? A question that has been asked throughout the ages and that has raised many hackles that were attached to people debating over this very same issue. I however choose to believe that there is one and mind you ONE single entity which pervades everything and manifests itself as everything that exists and does not exist. Basically, I believe that God is the humble electron and any form of energy and time, both past and future and oh yes, the present too.

So, What role does this entity have to play? Okey, this is a tough one, this question has churned itself so much in my tiny head that my head is swirling! In Hindu mythology, God is said to be an entity which is completely at equilibrium, it has no thoughts, absolutely nothing! If this is the case, then how come, we, the manifestations of this very same entity, think so much and do so much. There are barely any nano-seconds which are spent in complete bliss, this being the case, how can the God exist at equilibrium? Ah, good question, and of course, philosophers have the right answers, you are going to love this one! This is exactly what the philosophers say: "God (brahmam) is me but I'm not the brahmam"! Ouch, that was a violent swirl that I felt there! So, the gods like Vishnu, rudra and so on are not the ultimate entity (note, 'brahmam' is not the same as the god brahma who sits on the lotus, 'brahmam'is totally different and refers to the ultimate entity) but are simply manifestations of that entity, so these secondary god heads have the freedom to think and act and so on and so forth. (Mine has hit 2000 revolutions per minute, what about your head?)

Ah, This is where Karma comes in. I'm not sure if this is simply a ploy similar to the housewives tales which were narrated to naughty children so as to rein them in. Lets just assume that it is true, if so, then it means that whatever action I perform is being recorded in some cosmic diary for later reference (or for immediate reference, who knows?). I'm free to decide my actions, but the consequences could be good or bad based on the intentions of my thoughts. So, if I intended to cause harm, then the circle will come a full round some day and I'll be punished for my actions. However, in the Bhagwad Gita, as Rahul rightly pointed out in Squids blog, Krishna tells Arjuna that though he (Arjuna) would be killing people (which is bad), that is his duty as he is a warrior and he is supposed to follow his code of conduct (dharma) which is to protect his people and to fight for their rights. Krishna just tells him to respect his duty or work or whatever and to carry out his duties without thinking about the consequences. This means that, neither should one think about the good consequences, nor should we think about the bad ones but approach the situation with equanimity and leave the consequences to God.

SO, Is there any after life or a cycle of life and death? Tough one to call, especially because our souls seem to forget our past lives so easily! There is an answer to every query, but nothing seems to be the final answer which would successfully satisfy the critics (read me). Right now I can't make up my mind and since the rpm is approaching dangerous levels and also because I've a meeting scheduled with a professor guy (this guy carries a pistol around!) in another five minutes, and also because I haven't yet showered, I'm going to sign off and let you mull over the various swirly theories.